morrison lane.

[faux] fried pickles AND [skinny] hot wings. take that, superbowl!

2012-02-02T08:45:00.000-06:00

i'm not gonna lie, but i won wife of the year aware last sunday night. like after ten (TODAY!!!) months of marriage, i mean, already have won the award. presented by me to me. thank you very much. here's why:
1. when brad said to me with his puppy dog eyes "can we get the royal rumble {wraaaslin', if you don't know what that is} on pay-per-view on sunday?
2. i said without hesitation, "sure, sounds fun to me."
3. i completed all my "stuff" so i could sit down and watch it with him when it came on that night.
4. and then i made appetizers so it could be deemed a real party.
5. party for two.
6. blue ribbon = jessica duuuuuuuuuuuuukes. thank you thank you. {bowing, bowing, bowing}

and then i researched and found these two recipes. and you are probably going to want to make them and impress your friends for the superbowl, or even if its just a party of two, or even one. you might want to make them so you can CHOW down and not have the guilt or grossness that comes with eating yucky food.

faux fried pickles

1 jar of whole pickles. sliced into thick slices

2 eggs (i used egg whites)

1/3 cup of flour

1 tbs worcestershire sauce

1 tsp hot sauce

1 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp cajun seasoning

1 tsp black pepper

1.5 panko bread crumbs

ranch dressing for serving

combine the eggs, flour, sauces, garlic powder, cajun seasoning, black pepper in a small bowl.
pour panko in another bowl.
one by one dip the sliced pickle into the egg mixture and then into the panko.
lay on a greased pan; oven ready. i covered the pan with tin foil just for easy clean up.
broil on HI for three minutes on each side.
eat. a ton. because they are delicious!
like for real the best thing ever and they taste like fried badness!!!

the good:
oh my gosh, delicious.

the bad:
they run out quickly. make more than you think you need.
make sure you set the timer, they cook FAST!!!

skinny hot waaaangs

15 oz. fat free beef broth

1/4 cup hot sauce

2 tbs tomato paste

2 tbs butter

1 tsp cayenne pepper (optional)

3 lbs boneless chicken breast

6 celery stalks (yuck!)

prepare the dipping sauce. in a small saucepan, stir together the beef froth, hot sauce, tomato paste, butter and cayenne. bring to a slow simmer and cook 20-25 minutes until the mixture reduces to about one cup. (i simmered this way longer because i forgot...and it was fine....)

the recipe asks you to cut the breast in small strips and put it on skewers. i cut it in small chunks to resemble boneless wings (but remember, i was trying for wife of the year honors...). grill, broil, bake the chicken. then dump your chicken into the simmering sauce to coat your pieces evenly. i used the remaining sauce and poured it with the chicken to serve.

the good:

it tasted good, but safe.

easy

quick

rewarding

healthy!

the bad:

not spicy enough

to watery

i wanted the sauce to be thicker.

(and i almost think you could buy ready made sauce that would be easier and as good)

and there you have it. impress all your friends with your healthy super bowl party food. easy and fun.

all recipes were taken, and kinda adapted from eatyourselfskinny.com

my birthday. bowling. and a birthday suit (not really).

2012-02-01T08:22:00.000-06:00

my birthday is superbowl sunday. i am going to be 21, seemed like it would never ever get here! that twenty-first birthday...shesh. finally, i have arrived. now i'm all legal and everything! woot woot! and since we are celebrating me turning twenty-one ~~a long time agooooooo~~, girls gotta have a new birthday outfit. i mean, if i need an excuse to buy something new...well, happy birthday taaa me.

can i get an amen?

so here's what i ordered...i got all craaaaay with the colored jeggins and since i have recently started drinking smart water in my attempt to become jennifer anniston with my newly lightened locks, i decided to go super ubber crazy and get these dark earring since you will be able to see those things since my hair isn't black anymore.

we are going to go to church, then lunch and bowling. because we party like rockstars and the superbowl happens to be on, so we have to get in front of a tv in our proper places for ~~those commercials~~ DAAA GAME by 5 pm.

right now, i am barefoot. i promise though, shoes just take more time.
give a girl a break.
i'm still trying to get used to the colored jeans.
p.s. i haven't gotten this in the mail yet, what if it doesn't come??? i'll be in my birthday suit! ahhh (too much? too far?)

all via oldnavy.com

a day at the park.

2012-02-01T06:30:00.000-06:00

so i'm linking up with the luuuuv fest over at some cooler than me gals blogs. because i luuuv them and its all "find some love fest" and i love love so ya know...

but here's the thing. i loooove brad and i have a lot (A TON) of surprises in store for him on valentines, and i could get all crafty and creative and really show y'all a thing or two. because, oh i got it. but then, ummm, the cat would be out of the bag. the love would be displayed. the...you get it.

so i will wait. because i need to surprise my sweet husband. but i happen to have a whoooolelotta love in my life and this little one, who we'll call lil bit, is one of those sources. so come with us, we are headed to the park.

i judged her. yes. and i really felt no shame.

2012-01-31T06:30:00.000-06:00

saturday night brad and i went to a show at the exit inn here in nashville, it was a cool, eclectic crowd with plenty of people in coats and scarfs to die for and just a good mix of people. early in the evening, i noticed a girl walking out of the bathroom with hair that was too long and not fixed. her skirt was too short and too washed out denim. no tights and over the knee boots that were just bad. her shirt looked like she might had gotten it at a yard sale and not in a cool "oh yeah, this old thing? i picked it up at a yard sale" cool, but a "i thought this shirt was awesome and i missed the mark" kinda look. and a sweater, equally as bad.

i judged her. yes. and i really felt no shame.
i felt justified.
her outfit was bad.
her boots were worse.
her skirt. well.

then the heel of her already bad boots broke so she walked with a limp just to keep the boots on her foot and the look of the boot still in place. and then, of course, she chose me to stand in front of in an already crowded room. i was annoyed. with her outfit and more so with the boots. that had broken. every time she had to take a step, she would reach out and hold onto her what i assume was her husband so she didn't fall.

i judged her. yes. and i really felt no shame.

and as the night continued and i focused on kathleen edwards as she sang, every so often when she would limp to readjust her boot, she would hit me and of course i was distracted again by the girl in the bad outfit in the bad boots.

then kathleen edwards started singing a song with the following lyrics:

You don't talk to me
Not the way that you used to
Maybe I don't deserve
In a way that makes you think I do
I've been wondering
About what we're gonna do
A house full of empty rooms

You don't kiss me,
Not the way that I wish you would
Maybe I don't look at you
In a way that makes you think you should
Still I've been thinking about how it's gonna be
Years are giving [?]

And I'm far from perfect
I'm far from anything but I swear that when we started
I used to make you happy
But I don't know you
Not the way that I thought I did
Maybe you don't know me
And you don't wanna be the first to say
I've been wondering about what we're gonna do
And I've been wondering about what we're gonna do
A house full of empty rooms
A house full of empty rooms

and as she sang, i noticed the girl in the bad clothes with the bad hair crying. wiping a tear from her eye after each painful line about a lonely and hard home. leaning on her husband because her boot wouldn't allow her to stand upright. but not wanting him to see. but i saw the tears and the hand with the pretty polish that was wiping away tear after tear after tear.

and my heart was saddened. and my heart was convicted.

and when i reached up to take a picture of kathleen edwards sing as she really felt the song, my arm accidentally brushed her shoulder and she turned to me and looked me in the eyes for a split second and smiled. and what i saw in return was a girl with a beautiful, gorgeous face smiling back at me. and as i smiled back at her, i was reminded not only was her face beautiful but her heart was much more beautiful than mine.

be kind to one another.

you never know what a person is going through.

and who cares what they have on.

doesn't matter at all.

i already knew that.

and saturday night i was reminded.

birchbox: january

2012-01-29T16:33:00.000-06:00

i know i'm a little late to the birchbox party, but who's counting. this was my first month getting one of those things and considering i am a product junkie, i am hooked already.
good job birchbox, sorry brad.

so if you don't already know, which i am sure ya do, let me tell you about this little box of love. and let's just pretend that you know noting of the sort, so all this is new information. that way you will be really really amazed not only with this post and birchbox, but also with me. i'm kidding!

birchbox is a company that you can order cosmetic goods and the like from, but also provides a service that for ten bucks a month...TEN BUCK PEOPLE...you get a selection of the monthly samples. and since everyone was doing it.
i decided to go there too.
and delivered it did.
figuratively and literally.
i'll let the pictures do the talking...

i mean, come on. and the box itself was pretty cute too!
and p.s. some of these pictures are kinda blurry, i had the settings all off on my camera and twas not paying attention. boo his.

i am a fan. that is for sure.

and "what the heck is that color on your nails, it is awesome???" i know, it is awesome, huh? it is solemates by essie. i liked it so much i had to order some.

sometimes it's real fun being a girl.

birchbox.com

here i am again.

2012-01-26T06:30:00.000-06:00

i've struggled with weight my entire life. (ugh, there i said it) i know more about nutrition, diets, eating right, healthy weight, incentives, the list goes one because my entire life...it has been my life.

i have ran a half-marathon. i have trained hard for that half-marathon. and i have felt the feeling of crossing that finish line. the feeling of having legs that feel like they might just turn into spaghetti with one more step. but better, the feeling that you just ran 13.1 miles and no one can take that away. and even better, knowing that to run that far means that you have to be in good good shape.

i have been there.

Source: therealityofskinny.tumblr.com via Connie on Pinterest

now i am here. here where i need to loose weight again. it's the most frustrating thing. ever. if you have ever been in my shoes, you totally understand.

it. is. so. frustrating.

i have always always let it hold me back. i know for a fact that my chosen profession was mostly determined because i knew that children and families that you care for are going to love you no matter what. and if i wasn't a super model or even just "normal" weight, the love is unconditional. when i met brad, i was at my smallest weight to date. and i am pretty confident god is in the details. details like he knew that i would have never ever even dreamed that brad could have been interested in me if i looked like i see myself.

like i still see myself today.

but this year, i have decided i have to get it together for once and for all. i have got to let weight stop defining me. i have got to stop hiding behind it. i am worth more than that.

so i am doing it again. only this time for good. i know it. i don't want to have to write another post like this. i want to write another post telling you that i did it.

that i am proud of who i am.

proud of what i look like.

i want to be pretty.

to feel pretty.

Source: ahlanlive.com via Beth on Pinterest

---------------------------------------------------------

on the way home from new years, when brad, bessie and myself went on a little ski trip where we didn't ski...bessie and i talked and talked and talked til we came up with this plan.

with the help of the fitness pal app on our iphones, we were going to track our intake daily. (do you have the fitness pal app, have you heard of it? it is awesome.) and keep each other accountable.

i need that.

i have always done it alone.

because with my weight comes guilt and shame.

so i force myself to feel really alone.

accountability.

Source: myfitnesspal.com via Clarissa on Pinterest

and we decided to make it a game (kinda).

here are the rules:

we have to workout five days a week. no excuses. five days.

we have to record all of our food on the fitness pal app.

{we can see each others progress this way}

oh crap.

then {the good good stuff to keep us going...}

after four weeks if we both did our part (eating right and working out our five days) we get a reward.

if one of us messes up and doesn't do our part, then neither of us get the reward...

bessie better get to the gym. thats all i'm saying.

rewards thus far:

january - arrington vineyards afternoon

february - facial/body treatment we wound't normally do.

march - new workout outfit (helloooo lululemon!)

{and i think we will just repeat these to some degree after march}

i am so excited about march, not gonna lie.

Source: believe-toachieve.tumblr.com via Karen on Pinterest

my body is starting to feel the results too. not only has the gym become a habit again, but it is so fun entering and keeping track of the food i eat and then watch as the scales cooperate with the plan. so i'm a little OCD...

i have a personal goal (and it's a secret) that i want to be at by august.

if i get there, trust me...you gonna know.

if i get there?

oh, i am sooo gonna get there.

Source: doctoroz.com via Jessica on Pinterest

so here's to me? yes, me.

and that's okay.

because gosh darn it, i am worth it.

(did you see the SNL when michael jordan had to look in the mirror and say "and gosh darn it, people like me?" ohhhhhhh my lord, it was hilarious. and just like that i am completely off track...)

help a sister out. tell me what you do to stay on track.

download the fitness pal app and let's be friends.

i'm jessicamorrison on there.

Source: allwomenstalk.com via Chelsea on Pinterest

Source: Uploaded by user via Jen on Pinterest

happy thursday, my favorite friends.

i dont like animals.

2012-01-25T06:30:00.000-06:00

tuesday, lil bit and myself headed to the zoo. it was sixty degrees in nashville and just warm enough to play with your mind to make you think that spring is around the corner. knowing that it's mid january in tennessee, you know better. but the flowers were starting to bloom, there was tons of green. its kinda cruel, it's like the weather god is saying "SIKE!"
(please excuse the quality of these photos for i forgot my real camera in the car. hence the iphone had to work.)

we went to the zoo. i had not taken lil bit since she was a wee thing and still sleeping while i cruised with her brothers, so i hadn't had the full two year old zoo experience with her. and we were excited about our day, it started with ballet and as soon as she ran out to greet me tutu's a blazin, she said, "caca, we go to the zoo? i soooooo 'cited!" we headed to the zoo, both of us giddy with 'citement.

we met my friend danielle there, who is also a nanny to a charming little one and our day began.
boy, did it. when you walk in the nashville zoo, you are greeted with the macaws, and they are loud...
"ohhhh, look at the birds!"
lil bit squeals in fear and screams. "i don't wiiiiiiike birds!!!! i don't wiiiiike birds!!!"

moving on, quickly.

danielle and her charge were laughing and taking their time and enjoying the zoo...
i had lil bit as far away from the birds as possible so she would calm down. we like head dove into a tree. like pushed the stroller into a tree...look, no animals!
"oh look at those trees!" "oh, look at those rocks!" "oh, look at the wind blowing the branches..."
screaming.
"i don't wike birds!!!"

moving faster...heading to the gibbons.

me, having to put on my super nanny hat, had to be more charismatic than normal and perhaps sillier and over dramatic than normal so perhaps she would focus on me instead of the fact that we WERE at the zoo SURROUNDED by animals and we were screaming after the first animal and that was a bird -
"oh lil bit! look at those silly monkeys! they like you...they think you are silly."

then that darn gibbon let out his best and loudest gibbon noise and guess what happened?
screaming, "I don't WIKE monkeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeys!!!!!!!!!"

see ya danielle! this stroller has gotta go.

meerkats?
meerkats.

dont do anything. they walk around and dig in mud. we are safe. no tears, no fears.
"i don't wike cats." no tearrs, buuuuuuut just so you know there ca-ca, i don't like these here meerkats you are presenting to me either.

"i don't wiiiiike cranes."
"i don't wiiiiike ducks."
"i don't wiiiiike fisheys"

flamingos! who doesn't like a flamingo? i love flamingos.
"i don't wike fwaaaamingos!!!"

so you know what i did. i let her cry for .05 seconds and took these three pictures. because i am a little obsessed with those things and this was the first time i had seen them here in nashville. enjoy them, i did not. but see them. i did.

reptile house?
"i wiiiiike frogs!"
so to the frogs we went, the bats nearly did her in, but thank goodness there as a frog across from the bats so we could just scale through...

then we headed to the farm to see the farm animals. "i don't wike cows."

at this point i was like "whatever kid, you like cows. who doesn't like a cow?" but as we were walking toward those smelly things, i was giving those guys the stink eye and hoping he caught my drift ('cause i caught his) when i telepathically said to that thing, "lookie here COW, if you decided to MOOO, i swear...i will...oh, i don't know. but please, pretty please! do not moo! we want to wike you!"

and then.
she wiked the cows.
i mean, she SAID, "i don't wike cows." but she did. she liked them. she even stood on the fence all farm like and made this nanny happy.

and even though it was the very last animal of the day and she "didn't wike" any animal at the zoo - still it was a good good day.

later in the day, lil bit was sleeping, danielle texted me, "we are headed to the park to feed the ducks, my girl never had a nap."

my response:

"i don't wike ducks."

lisa from scratch = awesome. {and a thank you.}

2012-01-24T06:30:00.000-06:00

a while ago, i needed a blog change. i wanted a new header, and i new i didn't have the time or skill (mainly the skill) to do what i needed. to get the look i wanted. the blog community is weird like that, you meet cool people that you would be friends with in real life, but for distance and happenstance you would never meet except for blogging.

bloggings good like that.

lisa and i are friends. and we have never met, but we are friends. she is a wife and a mommy to a newborn baby and a person that has made my days better since meeting her.

and she reminds me of my "real life that lives in nashville where i live" friend kara. something about them are so similar, it's weird. but great. because kara is great as is lisa. they are both wives and new moms...and you get the point.

sometimes i like to ramble.

lisa did this to my blog a few months ago:

my old header = she rocks.

and it was everything i wanted. i mean, look at that cute husband of mine and those kids i nanny...i mean, does it get better than that? and she turned everything into HTML (girl is smart) and redesigned everything. made it all organized so people could find me on pinterest, facebook and twitter. i mean, really...above and beyond.

and then after a few months, i realized that folks were thinking those were my three kids and they aren't. and i would take them and claim them as my own - still they are my job. and i didn't want to send mixed messages, and wanted folks to know that my blog was more than just me writing about what were my pretend kids.

does that make sense?

and then i thought..."gee, whenever brad and i do decide to have a baby and are blessed enough for that to happen, people are gonna be like 'why is she so excited, this is her forth kid.' " cause whenever that happens it's gonna be real exciting.

and i couldn't have that.

so i enlisted lisa again and she did what you see today. brand new and shiny. with the tags still on it.

do you like it?

i love it.

i think it is much more of a clear design of what my blog is called and who i am and who we (brad and jessica) are...and yes, there are plenty of stories thrown in of little bit, and her mischievous brothers, but i think the message is more clear of what i need to send to all my fellow readers out there. the masses of them, groves really...

is this even clear?

and it's so me. i love me a good banner. i mean, girl is good. real real good.

lisa's blog. www.lisafromscratch.com

i said ALL OF THIS to say...if you are in the market for a redesign, have no idea what you are doing (hiii!!! i feel your pain!), and want someone who is great and so easy to work with --- she listens to what you are really wanted and then executes it ---- email lisa and let her help you.

and trust me, i think i might have been pretty needy. and she delivered.

(i have to think she was probably rolling her eyes at the up teen text and emails with dumb questions i was sending, but patiently she replied.)

thanks lisa. i love my new design.

i really appreciate all the work you did for me.

do you like the new banner?

i think it makes me look slimmer, hotter and all around better. (i just couldn't help it...you are laughing, i know you are...)

how to: boil an egg.

2012-01-23T06:30:00.000-06:00

i know you think you already know how to do this and you are rolling your eyes at the title of this post. and then there's the fact that you could google this exact title and get one million answers, all of which would work and your egg would be just fine.

but would it be this simple?

because lets just say that i saw rachel ray while i was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital with my mom last week and she gave explicit directions on how to boil an egg. rachel ray, not my mom.

and lets just say it was a complicated process.

and lets just say that i have this here blog and decided i needed to share the wealth i have.

the wealth...meaning i have your answer when it comes to "so how DO you boil an egg?"

and as silly and as simple as it seems, well, i have always kinda wondered how to do it right.

like is there a right way to boil an egg?

i don't know, but there is my way.

and it's easy.

and since i am obsessed with eggs these days (read egg whites), i have it down to a science.

every morning i boil eggs.

and then eat them.

and they are perfectly good.

i have your answers. oh, i do. and you are welcome. you so are.

after this post, you can boil your heart out.

how to boil an egg:

-put the eggs in a sauce pan

-cover them with water

-turn the burner on high

-set the timer for fourteen minutes

-walk away

-when you hear the timer go off, turn the eggs off.

-peal while running warm water over them.

-salt, pepper to taste...i like to add a little cayenne

-consume

disclaimer: i like to eat egg whites every morning, i like to not eat the yellow. but deviled eggs are my favorite thing ever. (and yes, my mom calls them angeled eggs. she really does.)

also: i realize my blog needed prozac last week. i do. this week, we are on an upward slope and happy happy happy around here is what you are getting. promise.

one more thing: i can't wait to tell you all about my ymca experience i had on saturday, let's just say hercules in the form of a girl was working out beside me and i was scuuuured. and she new it. and loved it.

the end.

now, go boil an egg!

man, i love those thing.

want more how to post?...cause i have all kinds of useless information floating around in my brain.

i know this shocks you. i know.

be nice.

happy weekend friends.

2012-01-20T22:32:00.001-06:00

hope it's this happy.

(this picture CRACKS me up!)

thoughts, tears and fears.

2012-01-19T21:35:00.000-06:00

So I'm sitting here by the fire watching Private Practice with one eye and the kindle turned to almost the end of the Hunger Games. There's a world of stimuli going on around here. Oh and in their rooms, there are three littles sleeping dreaming of their tomorrows.

Brad left at eight to get some things done at our house he needed to work on - he is kind in that every night I have to work late, without fail, he always comes over and plays with the kids and gives the boys some of his time while little bit demands all of his time.

But, my thoughts keep going back to my parents. Today my dad was released from the hospital and taken back to Clarksville, where my parents live, to a rehabilitation center where he will stay for ten days while his body continues to heal. His left hand is swollen from the fall to resemble a baseball glove and his face looks scary from the wounds.

But the pain of all that isn't what I keep coming back to ---

It's that my mom is home alone right now.

In the home where they have lived together for over fifty years. The home where both my brother and myself were raised.

Tonight she is alone.

Dad is not there.

I can't imagine the feeling that she is feeling. And the relief I am sure she's allowed herself to breathe, that dad did survive the fall and that she is finally home after five very long days.

And only one full night of sleep.

But tonight when I talked to her. I wanted to cry. Cry because all I could think of ---

After only living with brad the short time I have, I can't imagine having to be without him because his health made it impossible for us to be together. And that's after less than a year of marriage.

Dad is alone too.

He is in a rehabilitation center with similar people like him. Somedays and moments his mind is great. Other days and moments, not so much. But tonight, mom isn't there.

Life has forced them apart.

Breaks my heart.

Makes me want to hold Brad a little tighter.

Makes me never want to grow old.

Makes me want to hug my mom and tell her how proud of her I am.

Makes me want to climb in my kind daddy's lap and get him to hold me as I tell him it's all going to be okay. And I don't think it's fair that life has dealt him these cards.

And as I wipe the tears away, and glance up at the television to see what I have missed as Private Practice is on a low hum in the background ---

I pray that tonight my sweet dad sleeps well without his constant companion, my mom, right there beside him.

And in our house, their house on Morrison Lane tonight, I pray that the house seems smaller than it is and it engulfs my mom in life and good memories of our family - and that she wakes - she wakes refreshed ready to go see my dad across town early in the morning.

Hold your love close tonight. We aren't promised tomorrow. And if you are sitting reading this blog and somewhere in another room is your child, your husband or your wife, your mom or dad, sister or brother --- go to them. Tell them that you love them. Squeeze them. Hold them tight. Rub them. Touch.

Right this second. Do it.

Let's all hold each other just a little tighter.

Okay?

sick day.

2012-01-19T11:23:00.002-06:00

we've read courderoy at the least one thousand times.

wiped noses until they are raw.

and watched a lot of "dorer" (dora)

but we are still...this darn cute.

and hey new GFC folks, welcome! thanks for following me! sooo glad you are here. i like new friends. yay!

p.s. dad is better. i just left the hospital and he looks good (well, he looks like he got in a fight with mohammad ali and lost, but who's counting.) he is a little confused and waving at everyone walking down the hall...his right hand is huge and swollen but he says it doesn't hurt. he should be leaving the hospital today and headed to a rehab unit for ten days to continue to heal and to get his strength back.

thanks for thinking of him and praying for him and telling me that you are. i really do appreciate it so.

inquiring minds want to know...

2012-01-17T13:00:00.002-06:00

here's the latest in this journey of life lately. (i'm tired)

- dad is doing better. he is less confused today and last night they were able to move him to a private room on the trauma unit which is a step up from the room he shared with six other severely injured patients. last night when i saw him, he wouldn't open his eyes and was really confused and then today he is sharp as a tack. so maybe the fall knocked some sense into him. too much? bad joke? yes, i think so.
seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for the sweet messages, calls, text and prayers. i have felt so popular the last few days with my phone lighting up like a christmas tree every five seconds. i mean, you make a girl get a big head people.

Source: google.com via Blair on Pinterest

- and in the midst of chaos, life still goes on. brad started a new job today that he will totally rock. i might have went a little overboard with "you need new clothes for a new job" on sunday, but GAP was having a sale and then macy's was too...and then, you know what happens then.

three large bags later, well...he looked real ~~cute~~ HOT today in his new duds. yay for a new job for him, he is so excited. i am cooking a celebratory dinner for him tonight. and then he will try to talk me into watching wrestling or star wars...and will succeed.

Source: this-is-for-forever.xanga.com via Kelly on Pinterest

and this has nothing to do with anything other than when i searched "new job" on pinterest ole will smith was the first thing to come up. random.

and it cracked me up.

so lucky you, you get taaaa crack up too.

and again, seriously y'all, thanks for the prayers for my sweet dad. he is the best and i know he feels it from his head to the soles of his feet.

p.s. the trauma unit is a weird place, sad - yet hopeful. if you think of my dad today and lift him up in prayer, say a prayer too for those that he is sharing a floor with. because on the tenth floor at venderbilt hospital, there are some really hurt and hurting people and some waiting rooms full of people that love those hurting people and are hurting right along side them.

one lady has been in that waiting room since december 31, when her son had a wreck and he has been in a coma ever since.

thats a mothers heart and love, and devotion. and you know what? a few more prayers for her today wouldn't hurt a thing.

another man, his wife has parkinson's like my dad and she fell too like dad. and the sadest part of it all, is she doesn't know her husband anymore and as he sat and told mom and i about his wife...he said, "she knows everyone, her kids, people she has met a few times...but she doesn't know me."

that's rough stuff.

and that's just a few in the waiting room.

live from the emergency room...

2012-01-16T01:07:00.000-06:00

It's Sunday night! (okay maybe that sounded a little funnier in my head than all written out...)
It's Monday morning about one am. And since seven Sunday, we have been in high alert. My sweet daddy who suffers from Parkinson's fell face first on some concrete and was taken to Vanderbilt medical center here in Nashville where he is being treated.
It's gonna be a long night for some of the people that love him so. Especially he and my mom.
If you are a reader of my blog, will you send good thoughts, vibes and prayers out for he and my mom tonight? That they will feel comfort and that he won't be in pain tonight. (and that they find him a room soon!!!)

taking care of me: take 1.

2012-01-12T06:00:00.000-06:00

piped up at the numero uno list on the ~~resolutions~~ goals for the new year is taking care of me.
it looks like this magnetized in the middle of the refrigerator:

taking care of me

-regular hair appointments

-nails/facials/etc

-buying things i need

-occasional wants

-workout

i have a servants heart which is a good thing, i know, but the vice of a servants heart or maybe of just a jessica is that she always comes last or sometimes not at all. i don't know where in my thought process that i accepted this as okay or even decided this is who i am. but as long as i can remember, i have made the deliberate choice to take care of everyone else's needs except my own (see occupation: nanny), i love making sure brad has all his needs met, my family that i care for has all their needs met, but sometimes at the end of the day, week, month - i wonder why i am dragging and have absolutely nothing in the tank left for me.

you would think after 35 years of life, it would click and i would change. i mean, i will go months and months and months without a hair cut, or deny myself of something i really do need because i don't feel like i deserve it.

what is wrong with me?

and i have decided this year, i am taking care of me. because taking care of me only benefits everyone around me that i love. i am getting smarter all the time, y'all.

it's not selfish to take time away from brad or anything or anyone else to get my hair cut, or get a facial or workout.

it's not. it's making me better. (say that ten times jessica!)

therapy. i am in self therapy. making myself take time for myself.

AND at the bottom of that list is taking more pictures of me, and then myself and brad. i am always taking pictures of brad (he happens to be the most photogenic person in the world. no lie. he's also really cute.) or little ones or a tree or anything other than me, i will run away flailing to avoid a picture. (imagine that? it's as great and as awesome as you can imagine...) and on working on making me better, and taking care of me - includes taking more pictures of me, and brad and i together.

we have just started this thing called marriage together and i don't want to look back after years and years and think "where was i?" or "i wondered what i looked like back then?"

and maybe i'm not the prettiest. or most photogenic, but i am created in god's image and i need to take more pride in myself. i can do this.

(can you tell this is just one big blog to me?)

i like to call this the no make up look.

i like to also call this the no make up look.

i like to call this the brad and jessica go to a nashville predators game look.

look at all that progress...

i am soooooooo under the table with my hands over my head right now posting all these pictures.

but look...it's only january 12 and i have already taken three pictures with ME in them! and then i am showing someone.

keep me in check, girls.

taking care of me, all of me.

oh, it's soooo on.

you are so dumb. {like, for real}

2012-01-10T06:00:00.000-06:00

we all know the "you are so dumb" video on you tube, if you don't know - type that in you tube and you will get the pleasure. not appropriate for the blog, but...i have been walking around this past week saying just that, "you are soooo dumb!"

i mean, lets be honest. i have ben a nanny all my live long days, well except for that stint when i decided i wanted to be a hair stylist. don't judge.

nanny. all the live long days. being a nanny, there is no wardrobe. and since you sometimes get a call to come to work and twenty minutes later you are there, this bodes well for the no shower, no make up, just rolled out of bed, unkept look. i rock it all the live long day.

i am hot hear me roar.

this is also why i don't so the WIWW post, because i mean, i look homeless most days. and dirty.

so WHY IN THE HECK have i never owned yoga pants until last week?

like never ever.

what IN the world?

and the better question is, what kind of friends do i really have that would never tell me, make me buy some, buy some for me? i need to reconsider some friendships that i thought i had. because clearly, there are some issues here.

last week. LAST WEEK. i never owned yoga pants til last week. i still can't believe it.

i mean, can you?

and guess what i have worn every day since last monday. you guessed it. and i am looking mighty fine. same look, the no shower, ponytail, dirty look.

but now the pants are all neat looking and long enough.

i mean, i might go as far to say they are cute.

Source: victoriassecret.com via Jackie on Pinterest

it's so hard to get a good picture with that darn self timer! this is the best i could do.

friends don't let friends go through life without yoga pants.

so if you are a friend of mine and you do not have yoga pants.

well, get some. today.

target. $15

the end.

a thought for saturday.

2012-01-07T15:27:00.000-06:00

Source: go4prophotos.com via Karyn on Pinterest

a stranger named brad.

2012-01-04T20:07:00.000-06:00

Source: randomhouse.com via Thomas on Pinterest

monday night, brad and i had just gotten back from a *ski trip and needed to go to grocery in order to eat, so we did what any other highly intelligent folks would do.

headed to the cheesecake factory.

Source: thecheesecakefactory.com via Dani on Pinterest

we had gotten a gift card for christmas so decided monday night was the night, actually monday late afternoon.

it's my story...it can be night.

except we missed the memo that everyone else in nashville and the surrounding cities also received gift cards for christmas and decided they were craving cheesecake as well. and when i say everyone, everyone.

if you are reading this and you live in nashville or close, i bet you were there. weren't you?

so as the routine goes, when the wait is the entire year of 2012, you stalk the bar and hope a table opens since they are first come, first serve.

wasn't long before a mob like larger older man motioned for us to come over. he was dressed in an all black suit with a long black wool overcoat with black reyban sunglasses. the only color was the red of his tie. since he motioned us over, i assumed he was leaving and giving us his table.

no.

he just wanted company.

so what would have been a quick dinner with an easy conversation with brad and myself turned into with dinner with a stranger.

a stranger named brad.

we talked business deals, we talking music business, we talked about nashville, los angeles and everything in between. we talked about his college aged son, how he was lonely and his house was too big. we talked about his girlfriend, who very much resembled a twenty year old pam anderson. he showed my her picture on his flip phone clad in her white string bikini. to which i replied at a loss for words, "well, doesn't she have a cute little body!" then he went on to say, "well, everything on her is fake, her nose, her hair, her boobs. fake. awww, but she's a good girl and we are best friends."

to which i wanted to say..."yeah, i bet your best friends..."

but said, "well, that is wonderful. its what's on the inside that matters anyway."

to which he replied, "well, i don't know about that..."

he was a character in a half. but you know what, he was lonely. you could see it in his eyes. he called us over for dinner when he saw a couple needing a table and hoped we would stay. and stay we did.

Source: heyfranhey.com via E'Lon on Pinterest

and for the next two hours or so, we talked about everything he wanted to talk about.

we listened.

and gave him time.

it wasn't anything special about us. we were just fillers at his table that made him not as lonely that night.

simply because we made him not alone.

i want to think we made his night a little better. i am sure as soon as we left, he called some other least expecting stranger over and told his tale to them and they probably sat and listened.

and can i tell you that ten minutes into realizing that we had been "duked" and we were guest at his table, our table became available and the kindness of my husband said we would just stay with brad, the stranger. and i am so glad we did.

several times he got up to use the restroom and both times he said, "now y'all don't leave until i come back."

lonely.

and monday night we were present in his life.

and what started out as a stranger felt like a friend as we walked away.

and i hope his heart was happy.

and a little less lonely.

Source: theuberblog.tumblr.com via AnnaMarie on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Terri on Pinterest

posting with meaning dot com.

2012-01-02T19:01:00.000-06:00

i would like my blog to be huge. to grow. and to be lovely.

Source: keepsmesane.co.uk via Claire on Pinterest

a blog where readers come early with their coffee and scour over every word from any post that i have posted.

Source: awelltraveledwoman.tumblr.com via Carrie on Pinterest

where readers come from far and wide and no matter where you are at that moment in your life, you can find something that i have written that you can feel in your bones.

i want my words to inspire, to make you laugh and make your time spent while while here at morrison lane heart happy. that's what i want.

so this means, nonsense post where i feel like i am posting to just keep up and post to just post -
are not going to happen anymore.

i want to live my life with more meaning.

i want everything that i do mean something.

especially here.

i have a ton on my plate, just like you. we all have way too much going on, and between being a wife, working, taking care of me (more on this later)

i need to not

just set behind the computer for the sake of feeling like i need to post.

does that make any sense?

i need to be connected for real more. like not connected on line.
like send my friends real mail.

Source: google.com via Alicia on Pinterest

a letter with a stamp.

tell them how much they mean to me.

tell them that they mean so much to me that i sat down, closed the computer and told them

and then followed through and mailed the darn thing.

Source: weheartit.com via Plucky Finds on Pinterest

when brad and i are hanging out, i want to be all in.

no computer, no cell phone.

just me and him and time.

same with my girlfriends.

do you know how i feel?
do you feel like me?
am i making any sense in 2012?

christmas, organizing and such.

2011-12-29T06:30:00.000-06:00

shew. since christmas i have organized, organized, organized...i am on a roll. i have organized our hall closet, brads workout room, our bedroom, our bathroom closet, and the list goes on. i am pretty proud of myself actually---and it will be nice to start the new year off organized. clearly, i am not that organized if i am having TO organize, but i would like to think this next year i will do better, especially since there are two of us now to keep organized!

the problem i run into is, with my job as a nanny/assistant./housecleaner/whatever is i do this all day at work for a living so the last thing i want to do when i get home is do the same thing all over again.

so i don't.

and then it leaves me in this predicament.

organizing my little self to death the week before a brand new year of a clean slate.

i like to think i am tricking 2012, making it think that i am all organized so it will be natural for me next year. because 2012, oh...we are organized. we are.

i EVEN cleaned out my make up bag --- i am like out. of. control.

since i am uuuuubbbbbber organized now, i am finally going to get to reward myself with a trip to the container store, it just opened here in nashville and i have been needing a reason to go. now i have one, because me and 2012 are organized. and we need to go, um, get some organizational things.

oh yay!

christmas. it was almost a week ago and what the intent was when writing this post, but then i got all braggy, and had to tell you how ~~unorganized~~ organized i really am. but i am done with that now, and ready to dive back into christmas.

and go.

it was my first christmas as brads wife and one i will always remember. i am so blessed by he and his sweet family that has made me feel like i have been around forever. it is nice to feel and be so loved. and santa gives THE BEST stocking stuffers at is house too...

THE BEST.

and believe it or not, i have already unpacked those things and even have THEM organized and in their proper place.

watch out, 2012. watch out.

p.s. friday i am going skiing for the FIRST TIME. i am ex.cit.ed. think it will be problematic if i need to change my camera lens for the perfect picture while gliding down the slopes?

you didn't?

me either.

just call me giselle.

i. need. this.

2011-12-28T21:39:00.000-06:00

i need this pretty bad. like with leggins...
hello perfection, so nice to meet you.
and its only $44.
old navy.
you need it too, huh?

tacky christmas sweater party...i mean, blog.

2011-12-26T07:00:00.000-06:00

it's not every day you have the chance to just let ~~yourself~~ blog go and be tacky on purpose. today is the day. we are tacky christmas sweatern' up in huuuur.
so without further adoooo, for your viewing pleasure...

how'd i do? tacky enough for you?

12.25.11.

2011-12-25T00:00:00.000-06:00

merry christmas.

2011-12-23T07:30:00.000-06:00

here's our christmas card, addressed to you, from us.

...and a happy new year...

church.

2011-12-22T07:00:00.000-06:00

last sunday i went with my best friend to see her niece in her annual christmas program. and it delivered. everything you vision a church program to be...well, have a look:

right?
but as heard and saw the flashes of lights go off as one after another dad took pictures of their child in their sunday best and after looking around the sanctuary to the eyes of the mothers looking with a heart of pride as their child was assuredly the best in show - i looked to my left to a small baby. he was little and sweet, and looking past the baby into the arms that held him was who i assume was his mother.

she was dirty. she had a christmas turtleneck on that most of us would choose as the winner of the undergarment that would win us first prize at the annual tacky christmas sweater party. her uncombed hair looked like it had not been washed in a week, maybe two. but her eyes were the same as all the other mothers there that were dressed in their best church attire. there was pride as she watched her child perform.

and as i followed her eyes, i found the one she was beaming at:

she was standing amidst the girls that had new christmas program outfits on, with the glitter, the newness, the tights, the mom let me wear a little make up even though i'm not allowed look.

and there she was. dressed in her best as well. in a dress that was perfectly fine, but not new, not clean, not impressive. with her hot pink pants underneath and her even dirtier very worn swim shoes. a lei on her head, around each wrist and her neck.

she also had her sunday best on for jesus.

and i thought to myself as i was drawn to this little girl and her sweet family - isn't this what church is all about?

and even though, i will admit, if it was my child, over my dead body would i let her perform in her leid attire. i would have had her dressed pressed perfectly, and i would have ashamedly won the argument before we walked out the door...ashamedly.

what it reminded me of was, in fact, the christmas story and why we are about to celebrate christmas. jesus wasn't born in his sunday best. his first bed was a manger, last i checked barns are dirty and they smell. but that didn't change the fact that mary, his mother, loved him and upon every glance saw through the dirt, the animals, the smell, and saw her perfect child in a bed of hay - jesus.

and right there on that sunday night was such an example of the christmas story. in her leis, her dirty clothes and her swim shoes was a perfect little child who was singing her heart out about the baby who was born in a manger - with her mother looking on with pride in her eyes.

and that. is christmas. and, to me, what church is all about.

in as much as you've done it to the least of these, you've done in unto me...

this little girl with the sweet face and her hawaii themed christmas best will be something i never forget. and a lesson to me, that giving jesus our best does not have to be pretty. does not have to be clean. all he wants is our hearts.

swim shoes. leis. dirt. he doesn't care.

and neither should we.

a christmas quiz that i stole and a girl with a dragon tattoo. (has a nice right to it, don't cha think?)

2011-12-21T07:00:00.001-06:00

since i have a lack of originality around these parts lately, and creativity.
i have resorted to stealing.
like, for real.
stealing.
oops.

my friend, melissa, writes a blog over at http://melissamevans.wordpress.com and i saw this today and immediately wanted, needed and had to have it in my life...errr, blog. so i stole it. and i'm not even sorry. but here's the thing, since i am a thief and she did it first, go, read hers too. since mines the knock off version of the original.

christmas quiz:

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? hot chocolate, because i have never had egg nog. i want to buy it every year because it is limited edition and i am a sucker for you can't get it all the time kinda deal, and because it just screams christmas...but i guess hot chocolate is safe. it's actually hot, so maybe not safe. good, we will go with good, it's good. and it's CHOCOLATE. i mean, hello!?!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? he wraps most all of them, but a few really cool objects of his (read my) affection stay out and under the tree all santa arranged them and loves you like. can you tell i'm already a little hyper about christmas?

3. Coloured lights on tree/house or white? i prefer white. brad prefers colored because white is boring he says. we have colored lights on our tree this year. i learned with kids a long time ago to pick your battles, i am transferring this to marriage as well. i am that smart.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? no, but only because where the heck do you get mistletoe? i so wanted to say yes to this question. fail. i would if i knew where to get it. and i'm almost 6 ft tall, so there might be a problem of the all romantic notion of kissing under the mistletoe becoming more kissing through the mistletoe. and isn't it poisonous? this could be bad.

5. When do you put your decorations up? as soon as i possibly can without seeming like a complete do-do. one year i put them up before halloween and just kept the blinds closed until it was appropriate to let the lights out... i have issues hear me roar.

6. What is your favourite holiday dish? anything that DOES NOT involve a potluck.

7. Favourite holiday memory as a child? (this is bad) i never believed in santa, my parents really believed that it was lying to your child because...well, it is. and that they wanted to tell me the truth. so i would tell my believer cousin every year that "even though i didn't believe in santa i would still get what i wanted!" brat, i know. and i am sorry too. my parents always told me that just because i didn't believe in santa that was in our house and i was not to tell other kids that, because they believed in santa. yeah, so i told my cousin every year. if my mom had a computer and read this today, i might still get in trouble. for real.

and then there was the one year when i didn't even ask for the holly hobby kitchen and i got it anyway. and i knew that there was no such thing as santa claus, but but but, how the heck did that thing appear. i so wanted to believe. i kinda thought my parents were lying. that there really was a santa.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? see above lengthy paragraph.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? sometimes, sometimes a few. sometimes a few before christmas eve as well. depended really on how much i begged. my brother is 12 years older than me, so i was kinda like an only child and had a way with the whining...

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? our tree is huge, maybe too big. but i love that thing. i like to put multiple different textured ribbon on it, with eclectic ornaments from any and everywhere. there are plenty of hallmark ones since my mom is a collector, and several from our travels since i met brad. and then i have these red berry branches that i stick haphazardly throughout for a wow factor and a real factor. because i know it is very realistic to have a evergreen in your living room.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. although i did wreck in it one time and flip four times. i didn't love it that day.

12. Can you ice skate? ugh, yeah, kristi yamaguchi.

13. Do you remember your favourite gift? probably that holly hobby kitchen or the cabbage patch twins. for real, i had cabbage patch twins.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? celebrating jesus and the feeling of love that is all over.

15. What is your favourite holiday dessert? i'm not picky.

16. What is your favourite holiday tradition? decorating anything and everything.

17. What tops your tree? just this year a silver star. i did have this cool twig ball that lit up, but the lights quit working so i gave it to my best friend. nice, huh? she knew, i wasn't trying to trick her!

18. Which do you prefer: giving. i would not care if i ever received anything ever again...giving is awesome. i love the look on the faces of people i have picked presents for...i love it. i love watching brads face especially.

19. Candy canes: yuck or yummy? yum.

20. Favorite Christmas Movie? miracle on 34th street.

21. Saddest Christmas song? mary did you know?
22. What is your favourite Christmas song? "it's the holiday season"...and i like to sing it loud and randomly.

i love christmas,
the fact that we can celebrate the birth of jesus in such a festive and grand way.
the fact that magic really does exist in the hearts of man at this time of year.
the fact that we can give to those who are less fortunate and in return we are the ones that are blessed.

and that, my friends, is why i like to sing "its the holiday season...sooooooooo woop ti do...."

four days! i can't wait.

p.s. brad and i went to see 'the girl with the dragon tattoo' last night and it delivered. the book was incredible, and the movie just as good. personally, i think we all need a little lisbeth in us. girl is bad to the bone! did you read the book(s)? are you a fan? i can't wait for the next one to come out in theatres, and since i'm a big nerd i might have to just read the book again to prepare...go see it, so so good.

sometimes i eat macaroni naked.

2011-12-20T06:48:00.000-06:00

continuing with our theme from yesterday...all you need is love.

brad and i spent saturday to today with ms. jessica...since she won't leave. [her parents and brothers went on a trip.]
she told us what to do, when to do it and how. she talks a lot, don't tell her i said that.
pwwwwweeeeeeaaaase?
also, she makes me take naps. sometimes two.
she needs to check herself.

actually i like naps, don't tell her that for sure.

here's a run down of what we did:

ate edamame.

did you know there's a bean in that thing? misser bwat told me. and it's good! and sometimes they pop out and hit the floor. and occasionally i eat one so they won't know i really just like to pop them open to watch them hit the floor.

ew need coffee, misser bwat?

i think i am exhausting because he was weally searching for coffee. i dont fink he found any.

then ate some macaroni almost naked.

sometimes ms. jessica gets out of control undressing me before i eat.

this is unflattering.

and cold.

among other things.

[girls loves her some cheese with a little noodles thrown in...]

went to breakfast in pajamas.

suckas!

you forgot to dress me!

ran away from misser bwat in my pajamas until he caught me.

kids don't try this at home, i kinda got in a little trouble for this one.

misser bwat told me no. he NEVER tells me NO.

and then melted my nanny's heart when i looked at her here and said, "i happy."

i got her number.

i know her buttons.

i'm the butter on her bread.

or something like that...

after i tried to run away at breakfast, misser bwat said he REALLY needed coffee.

he got kindsa crazy.

all i drink is milk, i need to try this stuff.

c.o.f.f.e.e. i think i can remember that.

this is my dog, chancer.

he just pooped in the house.

he's in big trouble.

i fink they might start looking for coffee again.

spilt coffee and kenny g.

2011-12-19T07:00:00.000-06:00

here's the thing.

i spilt coffee all over my keyboard yesterday and had a frozen moment of panic quick fast and in a hurry slather it off all over the floor as to get it anywhere other than my keyboard kinda moment - might need some carpet cleaner, but we (the computer and myself) are still in business. as i type, there is one little dot of coffee on the lower left of the screen dried and staring at me like listen lady lets be responsible with our hot drinks.

got it coffee. got it.

her parents surprised her big brothers with a fun christmas trip this weekend, so we are together until tuesday.
me. her. misser bwat.

and trust me. kenny g, don't care a thing about her nanny. not one bit.

it's all misser bwat. all the time. i change her diaper, bath her, keep her on a schedule, feed her...you know - the necessities. and he gets all the love and adoration.

all the love and adoration.

girl loves her some bwat. and trust me, i need only come as close as the phone will instagram it, closer than this...i get the stare down and the "my misser bwat!"

and from the looks of things. the feelings mutual.

o holy night.

2011-12-14T07:57:00.001-06:00

i originally wrote this blog in 2009,but its one of those sweet moments that i think about a lot during the holidays and one of those moments when you are so thankful you captured it all in pictures, even if it was an iphone. i just wanted to reshare it today --- hope it makes your heart smile like it does mine...
as most of you know, i am a nanny. not a ninny, a nanny! i work full-time and help take care of three precious little ones. i support their parents in rearing them the way they see fit and do the best that i possibly can in making all of their lives a little easier and hope i make their load a little lighter.

last night as i was working with the baby, i could hear the little fellas in their room playing. i heard one of them shout out, "jesus, come here!" not wanting to miss jesus, just in case he was in their room, i thought i should go spy and see what was going on and...

and this is what i found.

and i wanted to cry. my heart swelled with pride, i was so proud of them. of all things they could be pretending and playing, just the fact that they get it made me just in awe. they had turned their chairs upside down, pushed them together to make a triangular (manger) shape. the pillow that they had laid between was the hay and one of the little fellas was laid down covered in a blanket (swaddling clothes, or wadded up clothes as the heardman's called it) being jesus. i was touched to say the least by their creativity, but mostly their hearts.

i have spent my life teaching children, being with children and trying to form their minds into something that as an adult will make them better and stronger. sometimes you feel like you are wasting your breathe, that no one is listening....and then when you see this. something as simple as this; but something that two four year olds who are as excited about santa coming as the next child...choose to re-enact what even adults often forget is the real meaning of christmas. i still am so proud of them, and was happy to play a part (i was joseph for a little while.)

let me take you through our evening.

jesus and mary.

mary.

joseph, jesus and mary.

we needed a jesus, so their littlest batman played the part.

mary and joseph.

i tried my darnedest to get joseph to stand behind mary with his hand on "her" shoulder, they thought this was a better shot. they were right.

the holy family.

and an ah hah moment for the nanny. oh, yeah. where is that baby? we have on of those. don't tell their parents, but i woke her up so she could play the part. hey, it's not everyday you are asked to be jesus.

jesus.

look, i realize "he" has a pink passie and a pink gown but work with me here.

poor little jesus.

"his" parents...are not the gentlest.

horses.

just trying to get the stable feel.

and then this happened.

the horse tried to eat joseph, jesus was over it and mary suddenly realized that the dress "she" was wearing was really "her" daddy's t-shirt. and the headband WOULD NOT stay on...needless to say, that was the last picture...because mary had a colossal meltdown...

o holy night.

please pray from my friend sarah clore today.

2011-12-13T07:30:00.000-06:00

i'll cut right to the chase, since this is my second blog today in two hours and since i don't want to be blog hog and make you hang out with morrison lane all day - i'll make it short and sweet. except thats not really my style and nearly impossible to do. and the whole reason i have a blog is so i don't have to make it short and sweet. moving on.

right this second as this blog goes to post - my friend, sarah clore - wife and mommy to two boys under two - is beginning surgery on a tumor in her brain that was found last week. the surgery starts at 7:30 am here in nashville at vanderbilt and will continue all day for 8 + hours.

all week, i have tried to put myself in her shoes. i can not begin to imagine the all encompassing feeling of having a sweet husband (her husband john is awesome!) and a little one who is two, then another baby boy with is three months, and knowing that today i am faces with something of the magnitude she is being faced with today.

she is strong. she is a warrior. she loves jesus. and we need you to pray with everything in you. pray for the surgeons that are operating today. pray for john that he will feel the peace of jesus and that he will feel the love of goad wrapped around him today.

sarah has been a nanny for a long time right along side me, and when i thnk of some of my very favorite people she is right up there.

will you pray for her today? please? i will be updating my twitter feed (www.twitter.com/morrisonlane)as i get updates from team clore. today will be the longest day they have ever had and i know that god has this all right in the palm of his hands.

praying with you and believing,
jessica

here's a letter i posted last week from sarah.

princess leia.

2011-12-13T06:00:00.000-06:00

here's the thing about being a nanny, you must remain humble but every now and again you have to show off, just for no other reason than job security.

i've had several of those moments this week.

she and her brothers were headed to a star wars birthday party and their mom and i were talking about who and what she should be...then i came up with this...

sometimes i even amaze myself.

i mean, thats a pretty PRETTY sweet princess leia.

everything's better with a little instagram touch.

can i get an amen?

costume:
white cotton little girls slip from her closet
white turtleneck from her closet
her moms belt, sinched in the back with a rubberband.

free and easy.

and perhaps the sweetest face you have ever seen.

(look at those toes...sweet!)

mom and dad's 50th anniversary.

2011-12-12T06:00:00.000-06:00

this past weekend, we celebrated my parents being married 50 years together. there was a lot of nodding and smiling on my part, and hugging and shaking hands of cousins that i had never seen before but knew me well.

my parents, or my mom, on the other hand had a grand time. dad did too, but he'e never been the social butterfly like my mom. my parents are opposites from the word go. my mom is a go getter, loves to go go go, talk, loves to entertain - where my dad would sit in a quiet room all day and be perfectly happy with his bible or nothing and still be content.

thats my mom and dad on the right. i am my dads twin. for real.

fifty years is a reason to celebrate. and celebrate we did. my favorite part of the day was:

1. introducing brad to my family that had not met him.

2. smiling and agreeing when all my aunts told me how handsome brad was.

3. listening to people tell stories about my parents.

4. listening to people speak with admiration about both of my parents.

my handsome nephew, seth, with my sweet mama.

it was a good day and most importantly a day to celebrate the two people who gave me life.

my dads first car was a 57 chevrolet.

i am one blessed girl to call these two my mom and dad.

last night we chased the moon.

2011-12-09T07:10:00.001-06:00

we chased the moon from out house until we arrived at basketball practice and still we never caught it, there was lots of "get in da carrrr moooon!" and even more persuasion, "come on moon, GET IN da car pweeeease?" and then we settled on "wook, caca, da moon followin' us!" and all was right with the world as one tire rolled in front of the other on our way to get chicken in a box.

chicken in a box? what? you've never heard of that either? that's what lil bit calls chic-fil-a. and she's a crack addict when it comes to them, just like the rest of us. every time we get in the car she looks at me with those big blue eyes sparkling, "chicken in a box, caca, pweeeeeease?" nine times out of ten it works, we go out of our way to chicken in a box.

because i am a crack addict as well. might as well start her young.

but as we were chasing the moon, all three of the kids and myself laughing together and having a good time, with literally not a care in the world, on our way to basketball practice and then chicken in a box - i couldn't shake the thoughts of earlier in the day.

earlier in the day, i was at wal-mart. the place we all love to hate, but still go back for more. can i get an amen? i was there with all of my other masses of grocery shoppers, christmas shoppers, clothes shoppers, i'll stop---you get the point.

i was grocery shopping. throwing any and everything in the buggy. i didn't have a list, just getting what we needed. and since we were out of everything, really, if it looked appeasing to the eye it went in the buggy. that was my system. after the buggy was almost calling for an assist, i decided that maybe, just maybe it might have been a better move to have put the twenty or so lightbulbs on the top instead of buried under the pile of everything. that's a whole 'nother blog.

as i was throwing in the christmas "special edition" pretzels with the white chocolate peppermint coating, i noticed a couple with their two kids grocery shopping. they were dirty and their two very well behaved toddlers were too. they had a calculator and a list and at closer look and with peaked interest some might call nosy i watched what they were doing as i threw ten more things that were not necessities into my buggy. they were calculating each purchase as well as manually writing the total down, they were up to $27.89 and when i looked in the carts, i noticed they had a dozen ramon noodles, a bag of potatoes and some other stretch items that would feed a family of four for a while. and all i could think about was, "i wonder if they are cold? if they are going home to a cold house. do they have blankets? do the kids have diapers?" it was more than just keeping a budget thing, you could tell. they were doing without and doing the very best they could.

and as i ran into them isle after isle, last i saw them they were up to $40.00, i couldn't help but be reminded of them, of some of my close friends that are really hurting right now, physically and emotionally.

what can i do? what can i do to make their load a little lighter? i can pray and am already.
but at this time in my life, i am healthy, i am happy. i have everything i could need. i have a warm house to come home to, i am not hungry, i have a christmas tree up WITH light making the electric bill more and we are good.

everywhere you look, if you can get beyond yourself and your own circumstance, some one needs you. someone needs a smile. a "atta boy." a oh, i really like your shirt. a pat on the back. a i am thankful for you. a i love you.

and you never know who you might give that to that will make someones load that much lighter, or perhaps, save a life.

so as we chased the moon without a care in the world on our way to chicken in a box, i was reminded of all we had, all i have, but even bigger than myself, i was reminded to love.
to be kind, smile and to love people well.

five things about morrison lane.

2011-12-08T07:11:00.001-06:00

which in turn is five things about me. (no need to state the obvious, but i just did.) you are welcome.

1. i grew up and lived my entire life in one house on a hill on morrison lane.

2. morrison was my last name until eight months ago.

3. my new last name is dukes and i am obsessed with creating a line of cards called "put up your dukes" because i think that's clever and awesome. when really it lacks all originality. hallmark? wanna come a callin? i can draw too! i am your girl!

4. i would put up my christmas tree in october, if i didn't care what people thought. and for the sake of being really weird. and i would keep it up year round. its so happy and fun.

last but not least...

5. i am not a mother. a lot of people that read this blog assume and think those littles i write about are my kids. then i say things like "so i had the kids all weekend, shew!" and then people assume "wow, she is tired because she had HER kids over the weekend? wow!" those three pretties that i write, tweet, instagram, blog about almost daily ARE NOT MINE. and i didn't steal them. i am their nanny. my full time job is to make sure they are loved, safe and photographed well.

the end.

yes, they are twins.

yes, they are more different than they are alike.

yes, they crack me up all the time.

yes, their little sister gets a lot more face time on here, because they are in school all day.

really. the end.

oh wait...can i get a P.S.?

P.S. sometimes i say SHUT. UP. all cool like really, no??? is what i mean, but since SHUT. UP. sounds cooler, sometimes i say that. well, once i did. in front of these two. and then i was promptly told that we do not say that word and that is the SH word. and then i had to apologize.

we all need somebody to leeeeeannnn on...

2011-12-07T07:02:00.001-06:00

yesterday as the day was ending, lil bit was in the bath, i was playing with her/reading a magazine/picking up/checking my email. you know...all the things you do when you are confined to the bathroom because a little is in the tub. i was tired from the weekend and from my long days leading up to today, i missed brad since i had not had any good time with him for a while because i had been so busy and just you know...woahhhh is me. you get it. and i took a big dose of "get over it jessica."

Source: Uploaded by user via Melia on Pinterest

then i got this email. and it rocked me to the core.

(before i posted this, i asked permission to share this.)

I hope this email finds you all well. I hope you're all taking time to reflect and enjoy this holiday season with friends and loved ones.

Going to go ahead and cut to the chase, because this is definitely not my style. Being transparent and writing mass emails about sensitive and serious things is just not something I do well (just check out my blog!), but I feel this is a time to be humble and come to you all asking for your prayers. This is what the body of Christ is all about, and our family is in desperate need of prayer and support.

The past month I have been having head rushes every time I move. They are far more intense than just normal head rushes, beginning at the base of my skull and radiating forward. The last few days they have become far more frequent and far more intense, and I realized there may be a real issue. I'm at high risk of developing a blood clot, particularly after having a baby and all of the hormone changes. I had also been experiencing other symptoms that I could write off as post baby (loss of balance, loss of memory (BIG time), extremely exhausted, I was a little out of control of my hands, hearing issues, and serious neck pain). But I also realized this could be a much bigger problem, perhaps a blood clot or tumor. So last night we decided to go to the ER just to have some tests done, rule everything out and move on with life.

Not how it happened.

I had a CT scan, and almost immediately the dr rushed in my room and said there's something really big in your brain, we're going to have to check it out further and let you know more. Oh, thanks for the panic! :) Long long story short, they decided it was more than they could handle and they transferred me to Vanderbilt to their excellent neuro team. Lots and lots of tests, lots and lots of no sleep in the neuro ICU and we have some answers. Not super good, not super bad.

I have a tumor in the dead center of my brain thats the size of a small orange. I know, how in the world did I not notice that?? They said it seems to be a slow growing tumor that has been there for quite awhile. The good news, its most likely (not positvely) not cancerous. The bad new is where it's located. My memory is just below the sight, it's covered in lots of blood vessels and veins that are pretty major. It's also located in the area where the spinal fluid is made, causing it to be seriously displaced. Also, we've learned with my past surgeries I have lots and lots of extra blood vessels located throughout my body that can cause some real trouble. They couldn't stop the bleeding after Charlie's c section for over and hour----so no more babies for us. This could also cause some very serious problems.

Overall, he seemed pretty positive about this procedure, but very very cautious. This tumor is extremely rare (less than 1%), the location can cause some real trouble, the extra fluid that will most likely build up afterwards can be an issue (but pretty simple to fix), all the crazy blood vessels can easily cause serious trouble, and then if all of this goes well, there's still a decent risk of a blood clot. Not to mention other unforeseen complications they could incur simply cutting into my brain. He said out of 10, this procedure is going to be a 10 in how complex it's going to be.

Wow, such a long Debbie Downer type email. Ok, all this to say, we need your prayers. Seriously. Please pray for peace as we go through this next week, enjoying an early Christmas with our boys as the actual Christmas day is uncertain. Surgery is scheduled for a week from today, and I get to go home tomorrow until then. I'm obviously over the top stressed as a new mom who wants nothing more than to be with my sweet babies and husband, making memories and enjoying our time together as a new family of 4. It's super difficult to be gone from them and to know it's going to be a long recovery before I can fully be mom again. My heart is just broken that I'm going to miss out on so much with Charlie as he is changing so much.

Pray for healing. That this procedure would go smoothly, that there would be no surprises, no extra bleeding, no stroke, no paralysis and no shunt. If everything goes "to plan" I could be out of the hospital 2 days post op. Let's all pray together that this is exactly how it works.

Source: mymorningroutine.tumblr.com via Deb on Pinterest

Pray for a speedy recovery so I can be with my babies and husband.

No matter what, I'm trusting in God's plan and his will. If he decides not to answer any or all of these requests, I'm certain there is a reason and a bigger plan. That's all I have to hold onto at this point, and it is more than enough.

Ok, this is a novel and my nurse is going to get me if I don't stop crying and making my monitor go cra-zy. Thank you for your prayers, your support, your friendship and for already walking through this with us. We love you all!

John, Sarah, Harvey and Baby Charlie

Source: melonheadsldsillustrating.blogspot.com via Eve on Pinterest

here's what i am asking you to do as a reader and as my friend.

1. pray for the clores.

2. pray for sarah's peace of mind

3. pray for the family this week as she gets to spend a "normal" week with her family before her surgery tuesday.

4. pray for her surgery on tuesday.

5. just pray.

and if you live in nashville and are a friend of mine and would like to take them a meal, please contact me at jessica37205@aol.com and i will give you the link to sign up for their food calendar that one of their friends have set up. if you just want to send them some love, an email, a note or a special something, email me and i will give you their information.

thanks friends. i knew i could count on you.

(leave a comment and i will pass the love on to the clores)

back to our regularly scheduled programming...

2011-12-06T07:06:00.001-06:00

i forgot i had a blog. it slipped my mind. that could be because i am loosing it. OR because i didn't want to loose them...

which is probably more important thank writing a post. since it's my job and all.

in all seriousness, i have been hanging out with these guys since thursday, so my regularly scheduled programming will return soon.

promise.

you missed me. right?

say yes. please?

thaksgiving 2011 (imagine that spraypainted on a tshirt) awesome, huh?

2011-11-30T06:00:00.000-06:00

so we went to

over thanksgiving. what? how is that possible? well, we went here too...

okay, maybe that's a little less believable, but that thing was made entirely out of jelly belly's. i mean, the real statue of liberty has nothing on that...no offense my new yorkers, that's a joke.

of course these two things and so much more...SOOOOOOO much more, MORE than you ever need to see if you know what i mean and i think you do can be found in las vegas nevada.

i've never been to europe so i kinda for a second believed brad when he told me we were in paris. i was like whaaaat and he was like yeaaaaah and i was like wow you ARE awesome and then i woke up.

not only did we take in nevada, we headed to california as well...as in death valley.

and the sites and brown everywhere were really incredible. the pictures don't do it justice at all. i kept taking pictures and usually i am like "ohhh, that is good one" and everytime i looked at the view finder i was like "oh." so multiply these shots by one thousand and maybe you can grasp the dimensions and layers of magnificent - ness of that place.

what a site to behold.

this could also be said for me that day if there would have been pictures, but notice there were not.

we had baja fresh for lunch on thanksgiving.

don't judge.

we had the buffet lord help us all for thanksgiving dinner. after we stood in like an hour and a half, no exaggeration, for dinner - i was determined to eat myself under the table. after i came back to the table with a salad, brad was very disappointed in me. so i ate that quick fast and in a hurry and headed back for more only to not finish that because i had saved room for dessert. and i was determined to eat at least ten because they were so cute, and then i ate one and could not eat anymore and i am still mad about that. that little bundt cake in the above picture was the cutest thing you have ever seen and i could not eat the little guy. boo me.

if you are a morrissey fan, be jealous because we saw him:

proof.

and then after this fella made a car appear, thirteen people in the audience disappear and a scorpion so a card trick, we for some reason thought it would be safe to meet the one and only david copperfield.

i had a real cute new tunic on just for him and he didn't even compliment me. he might do magic but has NO fashion sense. i mean, it even had sequins!

all that aside, anytime with this guy, is the best time of my life.

p.s. and we were forced to eat out. remember, we hadn't eaten out the whole month of november? oh it was divine. divine. and starbucks anytime we wanted. pinch me now.

hi my name is jessica and my tree has colored lights this year.

2011-11-28T21:00:00.001-06:00

i was planning on writing all about our trip to vegas over thanksgiving, but then as i look around and smell and see the holidays taking over every inch of our home, i just kinda wanted to decorate all over again. so i'll just decorate this post. and i'm not ashamed to tell you that lil bit and i have been jamming out to some michael buble christmas music since...oh, the first week of november. it's so frequent that now when we i am changing her diaper and pulling up her tights for us to leave in the mornings she is squealing with delight "chrisssmas music caca car" remember she calls me caca. didn't want you to think i threw in an ugly word just for the heck of it.

anyway.

we have been excited about the holidays for well...an embarrassing long time, finally i got brad on the bandwagon the second weekend of november and he obliged me and we put up our tree. i get really hyper and excited when tree putting up is happening, maybe that should have been one of those pre-marital talks, but we made it through...ho ho ho, or should i say he survived me.

i will say this is the first time in my entire life that our tree has colored lights.

lord help me.

i am a clear lights kinda girl. lots of lights, lots of white. that is all. but then as i was putting up the tree this year and i was low on the white lights brad sweetly offers me the COLORED lights that he had.

gulp. and being a good wife and realizing that this was not a big deal and i needed to really just put my big girl panties on and deal with a tree with colored lights...i did just that. it wasn't easy.

but not before i looked at bessie my best friend who was over helping and giving her the eye like ohhhhhemmmmmmgggggggg. i am about to have to string up these colored lights on the tree and pretend like i like them. then she did a heel to foot in the air hop with delight because her tree is beautiful and white. she's not invited over anymore.

but what do you know? i like the colored lights. i never. maybe it's a love is blind kinda thing but i am not only dealing with it, i am embracing it and i really do think it is great and adds so much to the tree. the house. it's so happy!

all these years i thought i knew so much.

but i needed brad all these years for this girl to have a good tree.

sneak peak...

2011-11-25T14:53:00.001-06:00

vegas...(via iPhone)

from the road: vegas style with a side of magic and morrissey.

2011-11-25T14:49:00.001-06:00

I woke up this morning with the greatest first paragraph ever for this post, but then I forgot as quick as I came up with that genius. So you'll have to settle for mediocre today. But considering its BLACK FRIDAY, just consider it 50% off.

That's all I got.

You probably already know if you follow my tweets (twitter.com/morrisonlane) and/or instagrams (morrisonlane) that we (Brad and I) are celebrating Thanksgiving in Vegas trying to double all the money we've ever made our entire lives...we liked the odds on the way here, then we got here and well...

We just decided to shop since you GIVE money and GET something in return. After much thoughtful consideration, I have decided that I WILL take all the change in my wallet and give it a go...there are some incredible grey boots at urban outfitters that are 30% off that I am sure with that dollar in change I plan on playing in the slots, I will win enough for those boots.

I'll take a picture when this happens.
Don't get your hopes up.
Our hold your breath.

Cause then you would just be disappointed and dead, because the odds...well...you get the point.

As I write, Brad is hanging out with his BFF Tony Horton and I am contemplating my outfit for the day while I write to you. It's a hard life people. I keep asking Brad random questions about the outfit choices and he answers sweetly and politely. I am positive he is ignoring me and hasn't heard a word I have said, but he is doing a great job pretending. I love that guy.

What else?

Oh, we are headed to hang out with David Copperfield at four today and then Morrissey at 8:30 tonight. Brad told me Morrissey takes off his shirt and throws it in the crowd when he finishes performing and the the crowd goes wild and fights over it as they rip it to shreds. I can hardly wait for this.

That's a joke. I have plenty of shirts.

P.S. I just got a new manual fish eye old school camera. I CAN NOT wait to LOAD THE FILM and take some pictures!

P.S.S. Tomorrow we are going to death valley. Have any of you been there? What should I expect?

Gotta run, this change is burning a hole in my leggins! Wish me luck...

(sent from my iPhone, please excuse any typos.)

gobble, gobble...

2011-11-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

happy

thanksgiving

to you

and yours.

and may you be so thankful for all the blessings in your life today and every day.

it's good to have a reminder to be thankful.

have a blessed day...and be a blessing.

my cup runneth over.

2011-11-23T15:37:00.001-06:00

For the first time in my entire life I won't be with family for Thanksgiving. Except I will be...I'll be with Brad in our new little family of two.

As I was ending my day at work today, I starting thinking about the years and years of Thanksgiving where it was lonely and sad. The holidays would roll around and even though I knew better than to not be thankful; I was still longing and lonely.

Wondering.

Would this be the last Thanksgiving I would be alone?
How did this become my life?

I had always for the most part made good choices, done the right thing, loved Jesus and prayed for that mate, but as I approached thirty - still I would find myself making that hour trip from Nashville to Clarksville to have Thanksgiving. And as much laughter as there were naps, I had an ache in my heart because I made the trip alone.

And I would go back home that evening alone. To an empty, decorated perfectly house - to most likely watch a Christmas movie all about love and cry myself to sleep. But in those tears all those years, the hope still remained that the next year would be different.

That my story would start.

One year, I could feel myself loosing it, as my dad said the blessing, after he said "amen" I had big crocodile tears in my eyes waiting to drop; and my sweet dad hugged me and said, "don't cry Jessica. He's coming. I've been praying for him all your life." I had never talked to my dad about the condition of my heart, but as parents go...they always know.

That was the last Thanksgiving my heart was lonely, because just a few months later I would meet Brad and he would fill my heart. That heart of mine that had prayed and cried and asked God, "When? When is it going to be MY turn?" and so on this Thanksgiving, the very first Thanksgiving that all my prayers finally came true -

My heart is thankful.
My heart is full.
My heart is happy.

p.s. and in all those prayers, I would always pray for a husband who had an awesome family. And guess what?

My cup runneth over this Thanksgiving Eve.

(this post was sent from my iPhone, please excuse any errors.)

nolensville, tennessee

2011-11-22T21:23:00.001-06:00

a couple of weeks ago, we made the trek to the barely outskirts of nashville to nolensville, tennessee. i love going anywhere that deems "out of nashville" because i feel like its extravagant and awesome, you could seriously take me anywhere and i promise i'd be thrilled, i love to travel anywhere. so nolensville, we headed this saturday, and i was pumped...and i think the "city" consist of one street, possibly a few more, but the main drag...well, they ain't much to it.

what a fun place it was...they had any homemade carb with tons of sugar you could want, and milk from the local dairy. to eat supper as we like to call it in the south, ~~i call it dinner because i like to think of myself as a civilized southerner.~~ you paid up front and then went through a buffet line where someone shoveled as much food as your paper plate would hold.

i can spot that guy anywhere. he probably feels good about himself because there is always a camera in his face, i tell him i am paparrazi, just to make him let me...he falls for it everytime. so if you see him and he wants to sign autographs, just go with it...i've convinced him he's famous.

even dressed as an amish boy...i can find him.

you can run, but you can't hide, buddy.

you can't make this up people, a lady in her hoop skirt coming in to buy her baked goods for the week and then left as quickly as she came in. i thought possibly, it was me, somehow i went back in time and no one told me. after all, i had leggins on and uggs, i was the odd man out.

and then this happened...

six feet six worth of travis, all crammed into one little amish fella.

like my mother does...

2011-11-22T06:00:00.000-06:00

last week as i was cleaning the stove for the fifth time of the evening, i had to laugh at myself and immediately thought, "lord, here is one of those things i never said i would do!" my mom always said the kitchen was not clean unless the stove was clean. and when i was sixteen...

Source: gallery.apartmenttherapy.com via Ellen on Pinterest

whatev.

you remember rolling your eyes too at all those DUMB things your mom told you or asked you to do...they were

dumb.

today though, i...ALWAYS clean the stove more than once per night to make sure it is spotless. and also never ever set anything on the stove, even if just for a minute because you just never know when i fire will start, jessica...

i clean my hair brush often and after brushing my hair always clean out the sink from all the loose hair that has came out during the latest brushing...

Source: phar-ma.com via Brenda on Pinterest

and then there is the closet doors.
the CLOSET doors. my nemesis.

Source: blissfullyever-after.blogspot.com via Linda on Pinterest

lord help us all. i can not tell you the daily times my mom would come in my room and get onto me because my closet door was open. and i can not tell you the number of times i rolled my eyes as she slammed it shut while i was rolling those eyes talking on the phone, probably sneaking three way.

why does it matter if the closet door is opened or closed!?

and today, every night before we go to bed, if i happen to forget i will ask brad on his way to bed, "hey, babe. will you shut that closet on your way to bed?" and as soon as i get to work in the mornings and walk the house and do my ten minute pick up...i scowl under my breath at the if there are any drawers or closets open...

i have become my mother.
but come over anytime, the house might be a mess, but the stove will be clean.

p.s. my mom is also obbbbseeesssed with picking up sticks outside. i still think this is dumb. and refuse to oblige her. when i am fifty and begging my children to pick up sticks i will remember this...maybe i should just give in and start helping. shoot.

Source: beforeyousayido.tumblr.com via Kaater on Pinterest

what do you do, only because of one of your parents?

surrender.

2011-11-21T12:10:00.001-06:00

i haven't been in the mood to blog lately, and as my fellow blogger friends know...blogging is a full time job and it has it's ups and downs. there are moments of delight when you feel like you could write post for years on end and then moments when you feel like you have nothing to say, much less write, much less blog.

that's been me lately.

last week was tough, friday was tougher. but it's on occasions when the going gets tough, that you just remember that it's not up to you. and when you throw your hand up in the air in surrender and give it to god, suddenly there is peace.

and that's where i am at today. because as much as i like to think that i am in control and i kick and moan when things don't go my way... sometimes it's a nice reminder when you feel like god is tapping your shoulder...<tap. tap. tap...>

oh yeah. we got this. you are in control.

happy monday y'all.

ever felt the way i'm feeling?

{the often forgotten items on the...} i am thankful for...{list}:

2011-11-17T07:04:00.001-06:00

when i decided to link up with gussysews and julie ann over at www.julieannart.com about writing a thanksgiving post - or some things i am thankful for post, i thought and thought and thought - i needed to make this great - after all, it's a link party! then i decided to tear up the paper on my original plan and take a ninety degree turn (goooo me!). i am going to give you some things i am thankful for on a daily basis - things that OFTEN get overlooked in our heart of thanks. so without further addddoooooo (drum roll please) - i present to you.

the often forgotten items on the

"i am thankful for..."

list:

1. laundry detergent
2. windshield wipers
3. toilet paper
4. carbohydrates
5. chocolate
6. television
7. heat
8. scarfs
9. pretty christmas ornaments
10. birds
11. flavored coffee creamer
12. dishwashers
13. stocking stuffers
14. sequins
15. the today show
16. good bed pillows
17. down comforters
18. mascara
19. eyeliner (thank you jesus!)
20. fonts (read jessica is a geek)
21. writing utensils
22. paper
23. twitter
24. trash bags
25. red fingernail polish
26. leggins
27. new clothes
28. large towels
29. lamps
30. socks

Briana@SweetCGrace said...

What a good idea! I would add Lipsmackers chapstick & flip flops! :)

come on, i know you have more to add...tell me and i will add them... let's see how long we can make this list. i had absolutely NO trouble coming up with thirty!

if you are a new follower today, tell me - so i can follow you back!

~~holla~~ follow back y'all.

too much? too much?

i'm stopping.

i want you to need me. i need you to need me.

2011-11-16T06:47:00.001-06:00

my entire life i have had a strong desire to be needed. i knew i was loved and wanted, but as i was growing up i remember doing things so i knew i would be needed. maybe i am normal, and everyone feels the desire so strongly, or maybe i am just weird. there's that. but needed, i have always been.

i remember while i was in hair school for a year, i worked at GAP. as much as everyone was great that i worked for and folding clothes clearly i do not mind (read nanny), retail was not a job where i felt needed. i mean, i felt like i better show up for my shift or i was gonna get fired kinda thing, but needed, no. i am confident without me these day GAP is still rolling right along, jeans are being folded, clothes are being hung, the world still spins madly on without me showing up every day. not needed, needless to say, i HATED retail. when i found out a few of my managers had there degree in retail management i 1) thought they were crazy and clearly were undecided until their last course 2) see number 1.

nothing like a little judgement, jessica. i mean, i was prancing around with a degree in special education and not using it one bit folding those jeans, at least they were using their degree.

onward.

needed. i didn't feel needed there, so i was thankful it was just a season in my life and not what i was called to do.

i could go on and on and on and tell you warm stories about being a nanny. maybe some not so warm stories as well. but yesterday as i was driving home and i looked back in the rearview mirror and i saw that lil bit had fallen asleep, something hit me - you are needed, that is why you do this.

needed. she needed me to unbuckle her seat and gently get her out of seat onto my shoulder and carry her in the house as quietly as i could. she needed me. she could not have made that transition without me. i felt needed.

and as i laid her in her bed and gathered her binkies with a promise that i would go look for her pink one and covered her up with her favorite flower blanket flipping the light off and gently as i shut she door, she raised her little head from sleep and said what she says every day without missing a beat, ''night night caca, i wuv ewwww."

that, my friends, is better than folding jeans any day.

it's not about the orzo.

2011-11-14T18:44:00.001-06:00

yesterday when i got home i was in a bad mood. i like to think of myself as pleasant as pie all the time, but yeah...yesterday i was just foul, i could feel it in my bones. so if i could feel it, i knew brad could sense it...and all the while i was just thinking, "why am i in a bad mood?" so i stomped around, made dinner, did a load of laundry, and cleaned our bedroom.

then brad told me he didn't want orzo with his fish, which kinda aggravated me too. because i had planned to have orzo with our dinner. and the plate was going to be pretty - orzo, creamed spinach and tilapia kinda pretty.

but he didn't want orzo.

like i said, over all a general bad mood.

so i made fish and spinach and the plate was perfect and fine. then we sat down to have dinner together. he grabbed my hand and we blessed our food and suddenly it was okay, the bad mood started to melt away as we talked about our day and life. it was like a calm came over me and the bad mood went away just like that orzo went away when i put it back in the cabinet.

sure we all have our moments and days and time when we are just not feeling it, but more than anything...when i looked across the table at the man who had just grabbed his crabby wife's hand so we could pray, i was so thankful. and had no choice but to be.

thanks a lot god, thanks a lot brad. i was kinda enjoying wollowing.

and then as brad grabbed my hand without missing a beat he said, "why don't you pray tonight?" he always prays. it was like he was winking at god, saying, "i got this, we'll get her."

so i had no choice but to offer up a whole lot of thanks for the...

hot food that we were about to consume.
warm clothes we had on our body.
roof over our decorated house.
friends and family that love us.
love that i had in front of me.

and
for the orzo that we have in the cabinet for another night.

this heart is thankful.
i almost forgot...

11.11.11, instagram, friday...finally.

2011-11-11T07:08:00.001-06:00

this week we've had some...

highs...

this week we've had some...

lows...

but through it all...

we've tried to sit back and ponder

the highs...

like...

making pretty invites by hand for my parents 50th anniversary. and i actually like them! now time for the printers...

new tall boots. in camel. for thirty five dollars. and they are cute. i'm excited about these pretties.

a new camera. well...it's not new. at all. but it's vintage, and new to me and pretty. i have ordered some film for this fella, i can't wait to see the beauties that it produces. or the uglies if it doesn't work that well...and then it will just be a decoration which still is perfection. cross your fingers!

buds. i mean i could not have styled this picture better. he is paying her NO attention at all and she could care less. she is happy to be tucked under his arm.

happy friday.

happy 11.11.11.

happy instagrams.

and most importantly...

happy veterans day.

this picture is screaming for a caption. ready, go.

2011-11-10T06:00:00.000-06:00

girlfriend loves her new "bawwet" shoes. hasn't taken them off since we got them. her recital is may 19th. like next year. read this nanny might be crazy since she is already excited.

dress: lucky kids

sweater: h & m

legwarmers: target

diaper: needs to be changed.

caption this picture and i'll give you a hundred dollars.

not really. that was a joke. but if you caption it and i like it i will tell everyone about how awesome you are. and that's a promise.

ballet shoes or no ballet shoes.

linking up today with mama loves papa...

somewhere between loosing my mind...

2011-11-09T06:00:00.000-06:00

being a good wife and nanny - i decided that the two hundred people that my mom just gave me the addresses for the invites that i am creating for their 50th anniversary needed to be homemade. like handwritten. because i want them to be cute and perfect, it's not every day you are married fifty years after all - and what's even worse is i am pretty sure i am the only person that will appreciate the work that i am about to put into the invites - but i want them to be perfect for my parents - so the to do list just got two hundred things longer. note: if you are a parent or about to be a parent and have one child that happens to be a girl - have another and try for that girl to have a sister because if there is just one girl in the family, well, guess who gets the brunt of planning a huge party?

confession: i am a control freak just a little and i love to write. so i'll be fine, i just sat down to write a blog and decided that i would start out on a complaining note. whatever has gotten into me?

and to beat it all, when the going get's tough - we can't even go out to eat.
please feel sorry for me.

last wednesday was a rough day, like really rough. all day long there were burst of tears and i was just sad. i would tell little bit when she was being two, for lack of a better word, that she was going to make caca (she calls me caca, if you are suddenly alarmed that she is calling my poop in spanish...i know, i know...i am caca to her...) cry, and since i was already crying it wasn't really a stretch. today i was thinking about last wednesday and how hard it was and thought about the times in high school when we were in devotion (i went to a small christian school) and one person would raise their hand during prayer request and say "unspoken" and then every one else in the class one by one would raise their hand with their "unspoken" request. only to make everyone even that much more curious...as to what was going on...why was it unspoken? oh memories.

back to the shoes in the above picture - my boss and friend felt so sorry for me that when she came home for the day, she had gotten me these new TOMS for a present. instantly the tears disappeared as i slipped those bundle of joys onto each foot. i am considering crying at work today as well, i really want the black sparkly ones.

with the new TOMS, i suddenly decided that i was even more artsy than i really am. granola even, so with my new shoes and a brand new set of crayolas (the only crayons that actually work...) i decided to be an artist. then when i got the the profile sketch, i decided that you might, perhaps, need more than a new pair of shoes to make yourself an artist. maybe i needed talent as well.

oh lord. let's remember those handmade invites i am about to do...
let's all pray for jessica.

and on the subject of shoes, i had to take lil bit to get some new ballet shoes. the kind she had were slippers and tuesdays ballet class was the last day we got away with the ballet teachers heeding i took lil bit to get some new ballet shoes. real ones.

which is really going to affect her dancing. i. am. sure.
granny liked her cut of hose and the shoes.
it was a look.

and last but not least...i did some shots of my friends last week and am in the final stages of making them all pretty and i adore this shot.

i love the way he is smiling and full of joy to be with his family, and how she is just as happy to be in the moment and the kids are just having a good time. perfect. candid. and a moment.

love.

back to work, thanks for letting me be distracted. i have invites to create...say a prayer for this girl.
please?

six {6!} new uses for hairspray via real simple.

2011-11-07T06:30:00.000-06:00

we interrupt this regularly scheduled blog for a ~~informercial, maybe commercial, really just widely informative information that you can't live one more moment without~~ little to-do about hairspray and some uses for the stuff that every girl reading this blog can't live without.

i happened to buy the new issue of real simple this weekend because the cover drew me in and it had to go into my bag, and i learned SOOO much new information that i could not keep it to myself:

real simple. yes? but, did YOU know that there are more uses for hairspray ~~than making your hair stay in place~~ than just getting that lipstick out of your shirt? here are six uses for hairspray that they highlighted {or should we say hairsprayed? am i the only one that thinks that's funny?}

1. ...lipstick remover...
kiss that smudge of really red good bye. if the fabric is machine washable, saturate the spot with hairspray, let it sit for ten minutes, then dab with a damp cloth or sponge to remove. launder as usual to wash out any residual stain and spray.

2. ...stocking saver...
the polymers that hold up an updo can also reinforce the toes of your hose. spray after each wash to help prevent nylons from running.

3. ...artwork protector...
hanging kids art in high traffic areas, like the refrigerator door? a light coating of hairspray will keep chalk or dried, flaky paint from brushing off.

4. ...petal preserver...
spray fragile, dried flowers to help them stay put n their stems. (here's hoping your wedding bouquet sees it's silver anniversary.)

5. ...gum unsticker...
free chewed juicy fruit from the carpet without wasting a wad of time. douse the gum with hairspray to harden it quickly, then scrape it off with a knife.

6. ...shoeshine fix...
a light spritz of hairspray gives newly polished loafers a long lasting patina. test on a small area before spraying the whole shoe.

[via]

and one more thing while we are on the subject - i have tried EVERY spray known to man, trust me, i have. this weekend i bought this for lack of time and i have a walgreens obsession:

tresemme climate control finishing spray.

rocked my socks off - and more importantly kept every hair in place.

do you have any hairspray tips to add? what's your favorite spray? you should really grab this months real simple, it's chalked FULL of eye candy and useful information!

the end. i gotta go spray my hair.

dad, dementia and love. (and the best video EVER)

2011-11-04T08:10:00.001-05:00

my intent last night when i sat down to write today's post was to give you an instagram dump and a run down of the week, because i know that is REALLY what you want. there were pictures of lil bit, my socks, new boots and probably 5648965 of brad. but i just wasn't feeling it, and then again this morning - i kept mulling (apple cider anyone?) in my head that i needed to do it, but then i couldn't find my cell phone. still can't by the way... {praise the lord. i love it when i loose that thing.}

so i decided what's better that to just write what is on my heart.

if you have been following my blog for a while, you know my dad has parkinson's disease. it's a mean, cruel disease and leaves the person in inhibits a prisoner in their own body. my dad has had this disease for almost thirty years. now he has dementia - which is even more cruel. it takes your mind and warps it onto something you are not even sometimes knowing what you are saying is not right, you still say it. sometimes my dad will say something crazy (for lack of a better word) and then look at my mom or myself and say, "am i confused again?"

last week, my parents made the one hour drive from clarksville to nashville to visit me. i made them lunch and we spent some time together. dad has always been a quiet man full of wisdom. my mom, on the other hand, is full of vibrance and can carry on a conversation with the best of them. it was weird last week though, it was kinda like the rules were changed, my dad never stopped talking.

never. stopped. and most everything that came out of his mouth was a whisper in volume, he had a lot to say. and he never stopped. i was exhausted by the time they left. mainly because i was straining just to hear dad speak and since he never stopped speaking for hours, it was a chore. the other reason being that he said in his confused state "you can't hear. you keep saying 'huh?'" i would explain to him that the reason i kept saying 'huh' was because he was speaking so quietly and that i could hear just fine! it was him that had the volume issue. and then i would get tickled because here is this man, my sweet daddy, that is accusing me of having the issue here. and then he would want to know why i was laughing at him. this happened times ten.

might as well laugh.

but as much as mom and i were entertained, as time passed, she was getting frazzled. frazzled because he would not just be. he would not be quiet and just be still. he. never. stopped. talking. my mom was tired, exhausted. i could tell that he occasionally kinda hurt her feelings too. of course, he would never do that "in his right mind" and even though she knows more than anyone that most things coming out of his endless supply of words these days are that, just words, i could still tell that some things he said bothered her.

my parents have always been two people to admire. but sitting there on that couch last week as i looked at them, i felt a whole new level of awe of them; but especially for my mother. because love is putting her to the test right now. the better and worse - worse has kicked in and she is passing with flying colors. my brother and i are especially blessed to call her our mom, but dad is even more blessed that he chose her - nearly fifty years ago at that skating rink barefoot, a rebel with two cigarettes hanging out of her mouth - he saw her. three months later they were married. and before i was born and since my birth i have watched their love story unfold.

one thing not to be confused about, my dad knew what he was doing when he chose my mom. because he could not ask for a better wife, nurse and love to daily be by his side.

i'm proud of my mom. i love you.
----------------------
and on a lighter note, a year ago today this happened. make sure you turn the volume up so you can hear this nanny [me] go a little crazy in the background...i am saying through jealous envy "that IS NOT right..." as little bit takes her VERY FIRST steps to misser bwat. seriously girl. after all the time we spend together, this is what i get.

eat IN november. {anybody wanna buy me a starbucks?}

2011-11-03T07:05:00.000-05:00

what is this you say? girl, you sooo crazy? or maybe this is no different that what you normally do. well here's the deal. this month is 'eat IN november.' which is what is says it is...keep it simple, stupid - that's my motto.

it's really not my motto, but it's a good motto to have...by the way. so here's the deal, this month brad and i are eating in. all meals will be cooked at home, there will be no eating out. which may not seem like a big deal to you, but here's what we do...we go in phases...we will eat out all the time or not at all. lately, it's been a lot. sometimes when you get home at seven, cooking is the last thing you want to do - so you do what's easy, and go out.

Source: delicooks.com via jessica on Pinterest

we just decided to have "eat IN november" and save the money we would on eating out. really we just like challenges and things that might kill us. that's a joke...i love to cook and am ready for the challenge. as i wipe the tears from my eyes.

Source: jessicainsd.blogspot.com via jessica on Pinterest

i can't wait to see what i can come up with...or what brad comes up with...so this month, i might be posting more about food than normal.
1. because i might be hungry because dinner was gross.
2. because a picture might be as close as i get to chic-fil-a.
3. because if i can't go to cheesecake factory, i might have to blog about her greatness.
4. you get the point.
5. please tell me you do.
6. i'm hungry.

Source: delicooks.com via jessica on Pinterest

and just in case you are wondering, yes all our dinners will look like the above entree. why do you ask? who DOOOOOO you take me for?

Source: realmomkitchen.com via jessica on Pinterest

and we are going light on bread and carbs at night. heaven help me and you. i might be a nightmare. and not a happy blogger, light on carbs i said!
are you crying with me?
are you drooling over this bread?
why do i do this to myself?
please make this bread and eat it for me?
please?
and tell me it was GROSS.

Source: fahrenheit350.blogspot.com via jessica on Pinterest

think this counts as healthy dessert? i think so.
i'll tell brad, "ohhhh honey, i made this low fat. it really is good for you. and dr. oz says a little dark chocolate is good for you!" think he will believe me? he should, after all i am his bride, he should believe me.

Source: kayotic.nl via jessica on Pinterest

honestly, there will be more of this than the pie. buuuuuuuuut maybe the pie might have to make an appearance. because i mean, if i am not eating out, no carbs...girls gotta have a little chocolate.

you can take the girl out of the chocolate but not the chocolate out of the girl. oh, that's not how that goes is it? oops.

Source: bing.com via Lynne on Pinterest

no eating out means no pumpkin spice lattes or salted caramel mochas the entire month of november.

what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

i died a little when i wrote those two sentences above.

and on december first...i am making this. oh yes i am. because i will be that talented in the kitchen and we will deserve it. only it will be filled with coffee and bread.

and i will love every bite.

"eat IN november" ----- wanna join us?

Source: cakecentral.com via jessica on Pinterest

the morning after. {views on halloween from a non celebrator...)

2011-11-01T19:44:00.002-05:00

growing up i never celebrated halloween, my parents believed that it was not a holiday to be celebrated. and i respect that school of thought still today and have read every story, pamphlet and bible verse about the reasons we should not have celebrated yesterday. yesterday - a day god made. a day he created.

here's what i believe and think today. i think halloween is what YOU make it. if you want it to be about evil and the devil, etc..., you probably aren't too entirely worried about what pleases god anyway, so rules don't apply. but i think today that it's just another day.

simple as that. as a nanny, there does not a day go by that someone of the three chil'hen are not in a costume. we have a trunk of make believe costumes and imagination play that is "arffing" (my best friends mom used that word one time and i have since added it to my lingo because of its greatness...) with firemen, knights, mickey mouse, batman and robin hood to name a few - and you never know when one of them escapes to the play room what will return. lately they've been on a ninja kick.

but on halloween, you just get candy. that's the only thing different for them. and the only thing different for me. it's a day to let your imagination come to life, see what your friends costumes are and get all the reeses peanut butter cups you can hoard and find (so the nanny can steal them. please and thank you).

i am looking forward to celebrating halloween with my children one day. seeing them use imaginative play and enjoy being little and cute. that's all it will be for us. just another day. just another day...with the exception of sugar high's, meltdowns and disgruntled-ness because the costume is uncomfortable, the hair isn't perfect and their mask won't stay on...but other than that...it's gonna be perfect.

and that's my halloween 411. from a former non-celebrator.

and with all that said (aaaaaaaaaand it was a lotttttttt), here's this...

cute, right? sweet even.

then we threw sweet out da door and went all toddlers and tiaras crazy...

then this nanny went crazy and lost all control and let the girl wear the costume again.
put rollers in her already curly head because she wanted.
and eat ice cream "all by myselfff"

hope your halloween was full of sweet treats
and your november is even sweeter, friends.

thirty one. and...BOO!

2011-10-31T06:00:00.000-05:00

Source: craftsbyamanda.com via Some on Pinterest

and because i like to leave you with treats and not tricks...here's your treat for the day for trick-r-treatin' at my blog...

5 things you may not know about me...

1. my favorite number is 42. has been forever.
2. i wear a watch everyday and a tiffany's bracelet that i received for my 30th birthday.
3. my hair is currently the longest it has ever been. ever. lord help me...it is looooong. like i might could be repunzel for halloween long.
4. i have NEVER dressed up for halloween. no never. not even as a kid.
5. my current favorite tv show is a toss up between castle and dexter.

and how happy are YOU that you know this little treat??? i mean, whats better...a good ole twix shoveled out of the bottom of the halloween loot or knowing five new things about me? i know, that's what i thought. you are soooooooo lucky. just imagine if i would have told you ten!?

i gotta save something for thanksgiving! shesh.

what are you (or your sweet kiddos) being for halloween? leave a comment, i would love to know and if you post some sweet (or scary pictures) tell me, so i can trick-r-treat to your blog and see the fun.

here's to tooooo much candy!

hip hip...

hooray!

one year ago today {and it's a follow fest!}

2011-10-27T19:50:00.001-05:00

I don't want to be the last one to arrive at the party, after all...if i'm first, then MY halloween costume will be the original and all the others...well, we should have talked. oops. "sorry for ya luck," as one of the little fellas often says to me... so i am linking up for the party, thanks for the invite. make sure you mingle with some other friends after you read my blog and don't forget to leave comments. i love to get comments, it makes me feel validated for what i have chosen to write for the day...so trick or treat on over to another blog and show some love.

....not only is it follow fest day, but its another special day in my life. geoff moore penned some lyrics "all of my life i have dreamed that somehow love would find me, and i can't believe your standing here..." one year ago today, on the beaches of north carolina, brad forced me to put away my camera and close my eyes and hold out my hand. i closed my eyes {kinda} and held out my hands and when he told me to open them it was a better moment than any you have seen on the bachelor. i know that's hard to believe...BUT...so true. when i opened my eyes, there he was on bended knee holding out a ring saying, "will you marry me? does it fit? does it fit?" and it did and i said yes. oh happy day.

and today i get to call him my husband.
......
and speaking of that guy that i love so much, i have some stiff competition in keeping his eyes only on me with this girl...

with or without the get up...they are kinda in love with each other...

.....

happy friday.

happy follow fest day!

happy weekend!

happy happy!

that's a whole lotta happy, folks.

kinda makes me want to burst into "dont worry, be happy...don't worry, be happy..." okay, i'll stop while i'm ahead. really, i will.

guest post by lil bit.

2011-10-27T07:00:00.000-05:00

she never can seem to get it together.

either she has the good outfit on me and forgets to do my moptop hair, or she does the hair and she forgets the camera or it's days like today where she just happens to have the camera, forgets to do my hair and i still have the pajamas on. and sometimes it's then when we (or ms. jessica saaaaays...) get the perfect picture. isn't that life, though?
so we...

jump for joy and smile for the camera...

but before we begin, we start out with a little yoga...

kiss the dog for good luck...

and do everything we can to avoid looking at the camera.

even if the four leave clovers decide the hold on to their four leaves no matter how hard we blow...

but at the end of the morning, really we are just thrilled that the camera was avoided at all cost.

happy thursday. i gotsta go take the camera away from ms. jessica now...

every other monday night family dinner with a side of wicked.

2011-10-26T14:12:00.000-05:00

three short years ago, my two best friends and myself all lived together. one of um, well we lived together long enough to make it legal and the other...almost. 'cause here's the thing...why mess up a good thing. and we loved (and still love) each other so we lived and loved. together.

then life has a funny way of shaking things up, ya know? out went bessie. she had to get all IN.DE.PENDANT. and move out on her own.

whatev. lori and i still had each other.

then lori had to show us both up and move herself AND her girl to europe. i mean, come on...if you wanted out that bad...let a girl know. you don't have to go all dramatic making your point. i get it.

so that ended the love affair and the lovely life that we had made all together for seven plus years.

now, we all live about thirty minutes away from each other...on a good day. and since life has gotten so busy we just don't see each other as much - so we decided to start "the every other monday night family dinner club" (creative, huh?) for lack of a better name and to keep it short and simple and to the point.

ha.

i feel incredibly blessed to always know no matter what i have these friends in my corner.

and even more blessed that every other monday night, except on my monday night i get a free meal. yum.

..............

speaking of free meals (good segway, huh?) - brad took me to see WICKED last night and then we got to go back stage where brad interviewed the wizard! for real. and he gave us a backstage tour...like we got to meet the real witches and everything. we are becoming big deals really. we even got to see their couture gowns! i almost had to sit on my hands to contain my excitement and to act all civilized. it was tough, people.

that and then having the constant urge to burst into "weeeeeeeeeeeeee're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oooooooooooozzzzzzzzzzzzz........." everytime i looked at the wizard. i was the one acting last night. me. trying to act civilized. shew....

if you don't already read brad's blog, you should read it because he has been getting some great interviews lately.... and who doesn't love a good interview?

i am still waiting to be asked.

hint, hint...brad?

brad?

is this thing on...?

off to the races...(keeneland edition)

2011-10-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

this weekend, brad and i went to lexington, kentucky - home of keeneland to take in all the horse racing festivities and to celebrate his friends thirtieth birthday...(slowly but surely everyone is catching up with me...) i had never been to lexington and was excited to go to a city i had never been and to catch up with friends AND to go to the horse races...although i kept calling it neyland {like neyland stadium} and in an attempt to be cool, i just decided to forgo the whole keeneland/neyland thing and just say "races..."

it went something like this..."y'all ready to go to the raaacessss???"

oh lord.

who would vote for a horse called halloween candy IN october? like he would ever win? vote? i meant bet. see, i am really clueless at the racessssss.

halloween candy was a horse that anyone with ANY racing knowledge would not vote on. like a horse named that would WIN IN october the weekend before halloween.

give. me. a. keeneland. break.

so i ~~voted~~ bet on a proper horse with a proper name instead. even if i didn't have a hat on and a julia roberts brown with white polka dotted dress. you can't pull one over on this girl. puh-lease.

halloween candy won. i lost.

in the wardrobe and in the races.

sorry rolex, this girl is sportin' a fossil.

precious.

so does it make me a photojournalist if i capture this sweet moment between a mother and child? or a creeper? because i think it makes me observant and a photojournalist. i wanted to ask her for her email so i could email her the picture but then i went and got a hot dog and when i came back she was gone. because if someone took a sweet picture of me like that i would thank them. there i feel better. hey lady, if you read my blog, which i knoooooow ya do. i would love to send you this picture. love, jessica

saturday, we spent eight hours here. at this restaurant. i kid you not. i would not joke about such matters.
we also ate here twice that day. because we know a good thing when we see it.

it was a good, fun, relaxing, NEEDED weekend...for me....

aaaaand this lady.

come on, thats a sweet picture.

admit it.

happy weekend!

2011-10-21T14:33:00.004-05:00

your weekend is gonna be this good. i just know it.

deep thoughts by yours truly {and a lingerie shower thrown in for good measure.}

2011-10-19T07:00:00.000-05:00

i remember when i turned thirty two. it was hard. yeah, thirty was thirty, the big 3.0. but as much as it was that, it was also kinda a hooray-i-am-out-of-my-twenties-and-lets-see-whats-in-store-now kinda too. i had never really dated and all i wanted in my entire life was to be a wife and mother. longed for this actually. to have someone to love. and daily and yearly as the clocked ticked and the days turned to months turned to years then i turned thirty-two. i remember driving to a concert one night like it was yesterday and telling my friend that i had decided that love wasn't in the cards for me.

and that was okay.

it was okay that i would never get my chance at motherhood too because i got to love on so many kids daily being a nanny that would be all i needed. to have bonds with those kids.
i was serious too.
all i had ever wanted for as long as i could remember was to be a wife to someone who loved me more than anything and a mother to their child (seriously this is making me cry as i type this at my keyboard tonight). it was real. it was raw. i was done. i was ready to be happy and if this was the life that god had in store for me i needed to find my normal and quit searching.

i was supposed to be alone. and it was fine.

and as i was telling my friend my new found knowledge and acceptance of my life ahead; expecting her to be encouraging and supportive just like i was to her when we had our chats...instead she said"(i remember it like it was yesterday) "well, that's stupid. you want to be married and kids more than anyone i know. god has something bigger in store for you. you will get your babies. you will have that love. quit saying things like that."

i just knew she was wrong because i was an older than her thirty-two.

and thirty-two year olds are wise.

-------

change of subject because i need some comic relief because i am seriously having a hard time typing as i write this through the tears at that moment three years ago and the rawness i was feeling...

sarah. she just got married. and she is shy. so very shy. so shy in fact that she modeled all her lingerie at her party we recently had at our house for she and my other friend, lori - who also just got married. so we had them a joint shower. and on the invite it looked like they were getting married to each other and that was fun too.

i was planning on making these precious panty and bra cookies that would have made me the next lingerie shower martha stewart then i realized that i forgot the flour so i made these cookies pops instead which are not creative but cute and the friends were impressed, they were. but that is only because i didn't show them what they missed out on...they could have been eating panty and bra cookies ---- and they ended up with just an orea covered with a stick jammed in it. sorry, i will try my thanksgiving martha stewart hat on and see if that fits better...

_______

and sometimes when i am sitting on the couch next to brad or just having an everyday moment like tonight when i said to him in jest..."that's because you are addicted to angry birds!" and he said, "no, i am addicted to YOU." i want to jump and and scream and do the whole tom cruise stand on the couch thing and say, "i WAS wrong! I WAS! you were right so long ago! i am married. i have love!" love that i had hoped and prayed for my entire life...so long i gave up on in fact...

a deep love. and he gets it. he knows my heart. and he knows i love him, but more than that he knows how thankful i really am. tonight as i was writing the beginning of this blog and i said, "ohhh, this is making me cry..." he said, "why? are you writing about me?"

he gets me.

and i am not alone.

my cup runneth over.

bonus::: just because she had ballet today and she is really cute. except this was last week. she wore leg warmers this week. i know. shut up! she really is that cute. for real. watch out flash dance.

watching love in action on a monday afternoon.

2011-10-18T07:05:00.000-05:00

this was no the post i had intended for this tuesday, but then yesterday happened and i had to share.

had to.

i mean, i love my husband a whole whole lot, but when i see him with this girl who he doesn't have to love, but adores it makes me love him even more. and this girl loves him back. today when i was leaving work she said, "go wit you caca. see misser bwat." i mean, how do you say no to that? and after a long day of work for him, this is how he spent his evening...

love is all over my house people.

here's how this goes. he lays on the floor and pretends he's not paying her any attention and she won't have it and insists that he get's it together and his eyes remain on her. always works.

i can't stand it. she's pulled up a chair and they are having a convo. sweet moments.

apparently that conversation went EXACTLY how she had planned. girl loves her some bwat.
-------

then because she noticed the door was open, she noticed the pun'kins as she calls them and we headed outside so she could have a closer view.

what a good afternoon. it's so fun watching the one you love...love.

mad.

2011-10-17T07:30:00.000-05:00

i am.

when did we loose sense of who we are? what is really important. our own value system instead of others...

this weekend, i got my US weekly email which i have the app on my iphone and also get any emails with breaking news. that, in itself, is sad. i got a breaking news update sent to my email that a moving truck was seen outside of ashton kutcher and demi moore's house.

then i got mad.

mad that i cared. mad that it was news. mad that these people, yes...they are celebrities and many think that with the fame and fortune does come the right to let your life be an open book, are being watched and every move they make is being watched and we are judging and watching and talking about it.

i can not imagine if my life was watched by everything and everyone and everyone cared and i was a news story every time you turned around.

then lindsey lohans teeth and her hands. i know all this because i am one like too many of us that care and feel the need to know. but it is starting to bother me.

bothering me that i am giving myself permission to waste precious time by reading the latest story about the person of the hour who is just another person just like me.

a person that needs jesus. just like me.

a person that longs to be loved. just like me.

a person that wants to feel like they matter. just like me.

that they belong. just like me.

we aren't that different. they just happen to be news.

i have decided to be consciously aware of what i am reading and remembering before i judge and base my conversation on the last thing some celebrity did to look at my own heart and examine my intent.

sorry to be so heavy on a monday but all weekend long, this has been on my heart.

have the best day ever. it's gonna be a good week---i can feel it.

happy fall. [my favorite]

2011-10-13T07:43:00.002-05:00

here's some little things i have been loving lately. brad and i are going out of town over thanksgiving and having our family to our home the weekend before. i am SUPER excited because i LOVE LOVE LOVE to host and plan a party. so thanks to pinterest i am as inspired as a thanksgiving turkey. <--good joke? bad joke? you get the point.

here's some things i am luuuuuving today.

Source: bhg.com via jessica on Pinterest

Source: marthastewart.com via jessica on Pinterest

seriously cute. and seriously in my backyard.

Source: stylebyallmyluv.blogspot.com via jessica on Pinterest

this girl is obsessed with burlap. so naturally i adore this.

Source: None via jessica on Pinterest

seriously. why didn't i come up with these? it makes me mad when i see something this cute and easy and perfect...because i didn't think of it!

and then there is this. off the subject and probably preeeety sure i won't have one on display thanksgiving...inappropriate perhaps, but i did laugh!

Source: tumblr.com via jessica on Pinterest

it's thursday people. and that just means we are that much closer to f.r.i.d.a.y.

uh huh. that's right.

come and follow me on pinterest. [jessica dukes] and i will follow you too. and then we can be friends!

michael + lori = MARRIED!

2011-10-12T07:00:00.002-05:00

two weekends ago, we loaded the car and headed to the beach so my best friend and her girl could get married. and get married they did. complete with perfect weather and good people witnessing their vows. i was lucky enough to capture some sweet images of them on this special weekend.

(and when i was in the wedding and other wise detained [in the wedding]...how 'bout this...i taught brad what to do...and he snapped away for me. so the pictures happening during the wedding are courtesy of brad. he's a talented boy. i knew i married that guy for a reason.)

and hows this for a DIY day:

i did the hair and make up - i am a beauty school drop out after all.

photography - me (and brad) and another one of their friends.

flowers - bridesmaids (me, bessie, tracy)

cake [cupcakes] - bessie

here comes the boys. ha, never heard that at a wedding!

i think michael is looking at me giving me the "my lord would you stand still girl" look. because i am preeeetty sure i was trying not to dance too much because the fire bugs were biting me and making me bleed. and i am sorry michael. i did try to stand still. i tried my best. i did.

perfection all wrapped up in a sandy filled beach.

[except the fire bugs that were making my ankles bleed. there's that]

so here'e the other thing. my dress didn't even match. but you couldn't even tell.

we interrupt this regularly scheduled blog to tell you...so my husband is hot. and sometimes i get distracted by his pretty-ness. especially when he is standing there all cute with flowers.

i mean, come on!

"hey, i married you 6 months ago...and i sure am glad i did!"

back to the couple of the hour. there's that. and them. and sorry i dot distracted. i do that. they are pretty too and all sweet and kissy. yeah yeah yeah...it's like they just got married or something.

oh they did. okay...we'll let you have your moment.

what a wonderful day full of love.

congratulations, michael and lori (and mikayla)

can't wait to share a whole bunch of life with you.

p.s. we stole the flowers for our hair out of the bushes outside of the condo an hour before the wedding. and they were perfect. gosh, i love it when a plan comes together. oh wait. they weren't part of the plan.

one thing i do love.

L. O. V. E.

oh heck, go grab someone and hug them. and tell 'um i sent cha.

photoshoot?

2011-10-11T07:52:00.001-05:00

sunday, misser bwat and i took the kids to see "disney on ice" and because they had something on other than their school uniform, i had it in my mind we were gonna have a little 10 minutes impromptu photo shoot. little impromptu photo shoot happened. 'cept not quite my style.

because as he saw the camera, he had his OWN ideas of what made a good picture. so after some trying and being unsuccessful with just "awww, c'mon, just sit in the grass..." we (he) decided that leaning against this tree all 1990 senior picture like with his shirt (accidently) even unbuttoned made a better picture.

leaning against a tree. completely posed. are you serious? how can i even begin to show of my skills with YOU as my model?

and god forbid, if he didn't get a turn too! "oh oh, ms. j! that is awesome, i want to put my hand on a tree too!" at this point i was just the willing participant...

he didn't realize he was cute as pie with his ears on still or this would have never happened. thank you for being six, even if just for a minute.

this one on the other hand, he just knows he's cute. and is dreaming up the next "posed" photo op.

"this will be good ms. j. this leaf is huge!"

then this happened, "oh ms j! look at this beautiful red tree! i know, let's all sit under it and that would look awesome!" and look at just how AWESOME it looks...he WAS right. lil bits face is cracking me up...somewhere between dejected, forced and homeless.

and that lasted for about...

two seconds. until she ran away...

i gotta admit i am a fan of this shot. this is these three in all their glory. lil bit running away and the boys pulling her shirt making her crazy...except their is usually only a smile on her face for about two seconds...

"oh ms j! i had those silly ears on in all those pictures??? let ME take them off and you take some of me. here, how is this?"

have camera. will shoot.

"misser bwat. c'mon. wed twee. sit."

and i laughed all through out the picture. i mean seriously? this is happening?

"and look take this one! look at me!"

no control. gone. at this point i was just running from one command to another. thank you my six year old stylist times two.

and then this happened, "ms. j. take my picture under the beautiful red tree alone." notice the pose. so serious. and then his brother who is usually never a stinker decided to get his goat and move in...and notice he never ever broke the pose. gotta love a good model.

lord. help. me.

finally...

"ms. j. take a picture of me surprised that the tree fell! this is going to be awesome."

and it was. totally rad dude.

awesome.

hope you started your tuesday laughing like i did.

happy tuesday!