prayers for oklahoma.

in 1999, a tornado came through my hometown of clarksville, tennessee.  i was in college at the time at the local university, austin peay state university.

i remember going to bed the night before, sitting my alarm to wake up early to go in and take an exam.  i was a live-in nanny at the time.  

i remember tossing and turning all night because of a bad storm.

that was the methodist church where i attended.

i remember getting up and stumbling to the shower in my sleepy state and getting a knock on the bathroom door while i was in the shower.

"jessica.  you don't have school today.  we're not even sure there's a school left."

the campus was in shambles.  the city was devastated. as were the residents.

my hometown woke up looking much different than when i went to bed the previous night.

oklahoma.  you are in my prayers and thoughts.  last night was we celebrated my very best friends birthday with dinner, all i could think about was you.  your people.  your kids.  as we celebrated my best friend, her life, i couldn't help but think about birthdays that were shattered yesterday.

but oklahoma, here's what i learned from tennessee in 1999 - you are resilient.

you still shine and will shine brighter in days to come.

goodness will uprise from your roots.

but in the meantime, i will pray for you.

we will pray for you.

favorites.

day 21 - 'links to some of your favorite post you've written.'

this one about my dad and his struggles with parkinson's disease.

this one...when brad asked me to marry him.

love displayed...a day with henry. (my favorite post ever)


will you give me some links to your favorites you've written?  i'd love to see them.

p.s.  today is my best friend, bessie's, birthday!  happy birthday bessie!  i love ya like a sister.  no, really, i do.

weighty subject.

'get real, tell us something you are really struggling with right now.' said day 19 of the blog challenge.

my weight is a constant struggle for me, from as long as i can remember i have been on a quest to be thin.  to be pretty.  to be... you get the point.  i always felt like when i was thin, i would be pretty and i would have all those things that i lack.

except one time i was pretty thin, and everything stayed the same.  

then i gained it back, lost more again...and so the story goes.  i can not begin to tell you the brain power that i have spent in my lifetime trying to find that sweet spot and then staying there and maintaining.
and sticking to something?  i have an extra special ability to stick to something.  

since late last year i have been focusing on eating clean and become more aware of what is going in my body and committing to exercise hard consistently.  monday (today) i am going to add a morning tabata to my routine and start some carb cycling.  nothing really different than i am doing now, except actually eating more carbs! holla!

i learned a long time ago, after eating only eight grams of fat per day for about a year and loosing a TON of weight that fad diets, crash diets don't work.  eating clean and working out shockingly do.

late last year i half jokingly told brad, "i'm either getting really fat [pregnant] or really skinny this year!"

it is just always going to be my cross to bear, even when i am at that perfect weight and look and feel great.  weight is always gonna be my constant struggle.

and it is my responsibility TO BE responsible for my health and to be the best me that i can be.
i will get there.  i will.  
and then i will maintain.  i will.

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i am currently reading and studying chris powells new book choose more, loose more for life.  if you have a ton of weight to loose or just a little even, it is a great read and great motivator.

tiny dancer.

sisters dance recital was this weekend, girlfriend finally got to dance again on da big stage.  of course, she was perfect and we all grinned ear to ear as we watched the cutest little dancer take the stage in all her glitter for her one minute of fame.

i had to work friday night and when i put her in the bed, she said, "caca, is mister brad coming to see me dance tomorrow?" as i was shutting the door.  "yes, honey.  he'll be there."

i thought about joining them on stage since i knew all the moves, but i didn't want to steal the show [in the worst possible way] so i stayed in my seat.

you can breathe now.
maybe next year i'll be a ballerina.

favorite bloggers.

day 19 might be a favorite.  top five favorite blogs.

here's my routine, when i set down at my computer in the AM, i automatically go to these five blogs.

+ ohbrady.com

lisa is my friend. we met in the blogosphere, and have met once but i just really like her.  we often exchange texts throughout the day from everything to working out to kid stuff...lately she has overhauled my blog design which a love.  she always has a different hair color, her little girl has the best name and i feel really blessed to know her.  i think she's pretty great.

+ thecelises.blogspot.com

amanda and danny had a hard time carrying a baby to term and after three losses, she started writing about her latest pregnancy which resulted in sweet arlo.  she has a great eye for design [check out arlo's nursery!] and is just funny.  when i read her writing, i imagine myself just talking to her and she telling me about whatever she happens to be writing.

+ lisaleonard.com

lisa is my go to for presents for anyone really special in my life, her jewelry is beautiful. she shares her family and life throughout instagram and her blog.  she has two sweet boys and has an eye for all things creative and fashion.  oh my.  i think i read somewhere that she gets dressed every day, like dressed, put together and make up.  i mean, that's a reason to like [or hate!] her in itself!

+ ashleyannphotography.com

because her pictures and family and everything she does is pretty much amazing.  i wanna move into her house.  or at least lie to people and tell them i live there.  she's always got a project up her sleeve and recently built a chicken coop.  did i mention she has five kids?  five kids and chickens.  and some days i don't have enough time to blog.  chickens?  i can't imagine.  

+ kellehampton.com

if her photos aren't enough to draw you in, you will be mesmerized by her words.  she is creative and a mama of three.  i think she shines such a positive light on things that are really hard and puts an optimistic spin on things that we all need to hear and read.  her pictures tell stories and we could all learn a lot from her words.  her blog is more than a blog to me, it is a story unfolding that i drink in.

of course, there are a TON more i love, but these five are my favorites [lately] for so many reasons, many of which i listed above.

tell me more.  tell me more!

a story from my childhood.

day 18 of the challenge. and we're moving right along.  'Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.'

i never was sick much as a child.  i have always had asthma, but as far as a bold, not feeling great, ear infections - not really me.  i will never forget one night, my mom, dad and me, we were all going to our friends bob and peggy's house for dinner.  my brother had already gotten married at this point.  i was eight years old.  

i remember my ear starting to hurt but not wanting to tell my mom because i really wanted to go to dinner at our friends house. after what felt like forever, the pain got worse and worse until i was in tears and telling my mom that i just didn't feel well and that my ear was really hurting.

turns out i had an ear infection in both ears and was running a high fever.

i remember mostly that it wasn't a big deal.  i remember her telling my dad, "you just go on, i will stay here with jessica." and then i remember her slipping my overalls off [the ones in the picture up above] and putting my pajamas on and we laid in my parents bed and she scratched my back until i feel asleep.  

there are so many great stories from my childhood, the one where the frog got loose in the house, the ones where my dad and i recorded my mom dancing and singing, and so many more.  

i just remember feeling so bad that night, but feeling so loved and taken care of...

a simple memory that twenty nine years later feels like yesterday.

and lets be honest, somedays you just need your mom, not matter how old you are.

sugarman.

in a day and time when too many are referred to as legends, monday night brad and i were able to witness a living legend sing from the center stage at the ryman auditorium. ushered onto stage, my mind immediately began to wonder how feeble rodriguez really was...until the spotlights shown down and he started to sing. 

there he was. sugarman in the flesh, clad in leather pants and all black topped with a black hat covering  his long black hair. he sang and moved just how you would imagine a seventy year old rock star would and immediately you could not help but wonder how he must be feeling, finally be touring and letting the world hear his songs live surrounded by an audience.

it was a longtime coming for this sugarman and i was just happy to be one in a crowded room of fans watching his every move and listening to every inflection. 

keep rocking, sugarman. you make detroit look good. 

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